Archive: September 2012

What constitutes corpse abuse?

25 September 2012
Charles
8 Comments
Categories: Attitudes to dead bodies, Legal rights, Rights of the bereaved

We don’t have abuse of a corpse laws in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, nor Scotland, not like they do in the US. Indeed, the laws around what you can, can’t and must do with a corpse in the UK are few — so few that we’ve never managed to discover what they are. Perhaps you know?

The status of the dead body is the point at issue. A dead body isn’t property, neither is it human. So, for example, no one can rape a dead body, but there is in fact a law which criminalises sexual penetration of a corpse. It’s a different thing, you see?

In the same way, you can’t arrest a corpse for debt.

But what else can’t you do? 

In the US there are state laws which forbid abuse of corpses. They vary from state to state, but in essence they all outlaw two things:

1. treating a corpse in a way which would outrage family sensibilities

2. treating a corpse in a way which would outrage community sensibilities. 

If we had the same sorts of laws in the UK it is conceivable, if the Daily Mail is to be believed, that the outcome of Wednesday’s ITV exposé might have involved the police. 

Keeping in with the in-breath

25 September 2012
Charles
5 Comments
Categories: Uncategorised

Caroline Goyder, voice coach to the stars and lesser luminaries, asked us to call to mind the person we love most. Did you notice, she asked after we’d done it, that you marked their arrival in your mind with a little in-breath? 

Did you?

When you’re speaking in public, she says, you need to preface each new thought or idea or piece of information with an in-breath. It lends spontaneity, freshness and emphasis to what you’re saying. It converts the cut and dried on your page into living, just-arrived words. It transforms a reading-aloud exercise into public speaking. 

We were then put through an exercise. We recited Churchill’s Fight on the Beaches speech: “We shall fight on the beaches (in-breath) we shall fight on the landing grounds (in-breath) we shall fight in the fields and in the streets (in-breath) we shall fight in the hills (longer in-breath) we shall never surrender. 

It’s a brilliant tip. Celebrants, do try it. It’s likely to slow you up, of course. The trade-off is that it will enable you to add meaning and impact to your ceremonies.

Caroline’s tip set me wondering about the most appropriate word count for a funeral service. A hundred words a minute is normally reckoned a good ballpark delivery speed but, given the diminished mental and emotional processing power of most funeral audiences, a more appropriate delivery speed probably lies nearer seventy words a minute. 

The occasion was the UK Speechwriters’ Guild annual convention last Friday organised by our good friend Brian Jenner, the genius behind the Joy of Death convention. I met all sorts of very nice and interesting people from the UN and the EU, and addressed them at speeds approaching a thousand miles an hour about eulogy writing. 

Two closing observations. First, judging by the speechwriters present, you’d never ask a speechwriter to deliver a speech. What celebrants do — write and perform — is rare. How many actors write their own plays? 

Second, the celebrancy orgs would do well to develop ties with speechwriters, and individual celebrants ought to consider joining the UK Speechwriters’ Guild. 

Did I say two? I’ve just remembered a third. Caroline Goyder has written a book, The Star Qualities. I’ve ordered a copy. You might like to, too. 

Caroline Goyder’s website here.

UK Speechwriters’ Guild here. 

You, the good news and Channel 5

24 September 2012
Charles
1 Comment
Categories: celebrants, funeral, funeral customs, funeral directors, funeral trends

We are pleased to pass on to you this appeal from a TV production company making a good-news documentary for Channel 5. We’ve spoken to them at length and like them. If you have created a really special funeral, or are a funeral director or a celebrant who has collaborated, or is currently collaborating, with families to achieve something special, we encourage you to get in touch. 

Planning a personalised funeral? Breaking with convention? 

We’re making a really positive television documentary for Channel 5. We would like to show the diverse range of possibilities for people to take control of their funeral and create ceremonies and memorials that are more personal and reflective of the individual concerned. The documentary aims to explore all the diverse ways this can be done which the wider public may not know about. 

As producers, it has been a real eye opener to learn that the conventional funeral is a Victorian invention and that legally we are much freer to do things differently than we ever realised. We’d love to get this across and to illustrate it we’d like to meet people who are planning a personalised funeral or memorial. We are not prescriptive and open to all new suggestions. We will be filming from mid September to the end of October. 

The tone of the programme will celebrate the diverse range of commemorations that are possible and highlight a more contemporary approach to marking death in a really positive way. We hope the film itself may serve as a good memory and we can make it available to families. In certain circumstances we may be able to contribute towards expenses. 

Back2Back Productions is a Brighton-based documentary production company specialising in high quality factual programming and you can see our work on our website.  

If this sounds interesting please get in touch and feel free to ask us anything at all about the project. anne.mason@back2back.tv or  01273 227700

Cool heads, warm hearts

24 September 2012
Charles
2 Comments
Categories: funeral directors, scandals

Anticipation is building in advance of ITV’s upcoming exposé of the funeral industry. We don’t have to tell you that the industry’s pulse is beating fast in anticipation of ITV’s upcoming shocker. Pre-emptive fury and sulphurous denunciation have already broken out in the comments columns of our blog, threatening to subvert the civility and coolness which normally characterise debate here. 

A more judicious course for all of us at this time would be dispassionately to appraise the evidence uncovered by the programme after we have seen it, consider the reactions of viewers — once and future clients of funeral service — and respond constructively. What some of the more intemperate writers of comments on this blog fail to understand is exactly how their ranting and stigmatising makes them look. You thought it was bad when you watched the programme? Look what these guys say, look at the way they say it.

As Bryan Powell (commenting under his real name, as he always does) points out here, the story of Funeral Partners is not all bad.  Well, it was unlikely to be as simple as that, was it? If you know enough, it’s impossible not to feel conflicted. One of the most superb funeral directors we know works for Funeral Partners. 

At the same time, it looks as if FPL is going to have some explaining to do. There will be different schools of thought on how such a deplorable state of affairs could have developed. 

The effectiveness of the NAFD will once again be called into question, and there is likely to be renewed call for regulation. The stated position of the NAFD is as follows:

Members of the National Association of  Funeral Directors are totally committed to raising and maintaining the highest level of customer service through the strict adherence to the Association’s Code of Practice. The NAFD supports the principle of self regulation of the funeral sector, whereby any business wishing to operate within the United Kingdom would be required to be in membership of a trade association operating a strictly monitored Code of Practice and a robust and independent client redress scheme.

Looking ahead to Wednesday (ITV, 10.35) there will be facts and there will be context. Let’s not generalise. The upside of a bloody awful mess like this is that it offers an opportunity to put things right. Cool heads and warm hearts  are called for. 

Undertaker chic

24 September 2012
Charles
2 Comments
Categories: Dress codes

Posted by Richard Rawlinson

Autumn/winter 2012/13 fashions are in the stores and Downton Abbey is back on TV for another series. Black is often a fashion favourite for the cooler seasons, but when black is coupled with Dowtonesque, Edwardian styling, the trend takes on a distinctly funereal look.

The mood continues into interiors trends with cool greys replacing warm taupes as the colour du jour. A reflection of the collective psyche in these difficult economic times? Colour psychologist Karen Haller says: ‘If we are anxious or nervous we may also turn to grey to feel calm, which is quite an extreme way to do it as it can be so draining without any support’. 

A literary undertaking

22 September 2012
Charles
No comments
Categories: Books, funeral directors

“From that moment my mind was made up – I wanted to be an undertaker. That was that and all there was about it.” 

“A LIFE IN DEATH – Memoirs Of A Cotswold Funeral Director” by James Baker

“A Life In Death” takes the reader into the largely hidden world of death and funerals, as set against the picturesque back-drop of the Gloucestershire countryside. After spending twenty five years in the funeral profession so far, there is much that James Baker can share with readers about his professional journey and his experiences. This book was written not just to entertain, but also to enlighten and hopefully, to reassure. Above all, it offers a whole new view into the practical reality of death and bereavement in contemporary Britain. 

Written with a wide cross-section of readers in mind, this book will be of particular interest to: 

       People of all ages who are fascinated with the work of a funeral director, or readers simply looking for an entertaining account of a unique working life;

       Palliative care and/or nursing professionals wanting to understand more about the various procedures following a death and the choices open to the bereaved;

       Would-be entrants into the funeral profession;

       Those who are preparing for an imminent bereavement and who are looking for a sensitively written, but honest and truthful insight into the practical realities of death and funerals. 

“A Life In Death” fills what is still a gap in the market for an intelligent and comprehensive, but highly readable, account of life within the funeral profession. James deliberately avoids the use of hackneyed, predictably humorous anecdotes and overly-sentimental or lurid accounts of tragic episodes. Instead he offers a sensitive, insightful and nuanced account of what his working life as a West Country funeral director is really like. 

Available from Amazon, or to order from any good book retailer. 

292 Pages     Mill Place Publishing     ISBN 978-0-9573468-0-2     Paperback: £ 8.99     Kindle version: £ 2.22

Problem solved

21 September 2012
Charles
31 Comments
Categories: Co-operative Funeralcare, National Association of Funeral Directors

When Co-operative Funeralcare reported itself to the NAFD in the aftermath of Channel 4’s Undercover Undertaker, it is doubtful whether the industry’s major trade body greeted the ploy with glee. A problem shared is a problem doubled. 

Was it really necessary for Funeralcare to hand themselves in? Inasmuch as the film revealed practices which fell far short of consumers’ expectations of an undertaker, no — obviously. It was clear what they should have done: they should have said sorry. To the public. They needed to have a conversation with the public. 

Why then did they hand themselves in? Presumably they had considered the Cleggalike hands-in-the-air option of apologising and rejected it in the hope of something less disagreeable. They pinned their hopes on the wording of the NAFD code of practice to make it better.

The code of practice is the instrument used by the NAFD to fend off those who would apply external regulation to the funeral industry. Its purpose is to require funeral directors to “observe at all times the basic rights of clients as consumers. To render good service at all times and make fair charges in respect of services rendered and for merchandise supplied.” It is the self-policing manual. 

The NAFD’s  Code of Practice Committee and Professional Standards Board ground into action to consider the case. The review remit was established. According to the report in NAFD house magazine Funeral Director Monthly, “It needs to be understood that the NAFD perspective in considering the programme content has a clear objective to relate the issues raised in the programme to the Rules and Guidelines and the Code of Practice of the Association.”

The first snag they encountered was that standalone hubs are not covered by the code because the code is out of date. The code only covers hubs which incorporate a retail funeral operation — ie, a shop: “The NAFD Rules require that Category A) and B) members notify us of all trading outlets, ie main offices and branches, coming under the membership trading name. Accepting that this requirement has been in the Rules in this form for many years means that, with present day modes of operation, premises as portrayed in the programme do not need to be notified to the NAFD.” (Our bold)

Whoops. (Something stronger, perhaps?)

The report in FD Monthly does not describe with what embarrassment, if any, this was acknowledged. However, Funeralcare helpfully came forward with an undertaking: “It was readily agreed by Funeralcare that the NAFD would be provided with  details of all such “Hub” units operated by Funeralcare, and that we now have immediate access to them at any time without giving notice. For the NAFD, it highlights a need to amend our Rules and procedures to meet the present day operating practices within our varied range of memberships, and to establish clear inspection processes in relation to all premises.”

So that’s all right, then. 

The NAFD went on to consider Funeralcare’s exhortation to its arrangers not to make known the availability of the simple funeral. Verdict? Not guilty. “The programme gave the impression, as other commentators have recently, that the NAFD Code requires funeral arrangers to discuss the availability of the Simple Funeral package with all clients as a matter of course. lt is clear from the Code wording that this is not necessarily the case.”

So there.

Actually, it’s not as bad as that. The NAFD admits it’s got a problem: “It would appear that there may be expectations from a public perception standpoint that require us all as members to consider and maybe review our approach to the Simple Funeral and how we offer it to our clients. For the NAFD, we need to give consideration as to how we strengthen our approach to the subject in the educational materials and the training options provided. The monitoring of compliance aspect is another area we can examine.”

While conceding that Undercover Undertaker was damaging, the NAFD wants to focus on positive outcomes. It asserts that “the future clients of Funeralcare will receive an enhanced service” and the NAFD will up its game a bit. 

Another storm cloud blew away subsequently in the course of a meeting with the Office of Fair Trading. “It was reassuring to know that, whilst they were aware of the programme, they did not view it as a cause for concern on their part, being comfortable in the knowledge that the NAFD has an input into resolving issues the programme raised.”

ED’S NOTE: Apologies for the less than timely treatment of this matter. It’s because we’ve been incredibly busy. Next week’s looking like a bit of a beast too, so if you’ve got something you’d like to blog off steam about, do send it in: charles@goodfuneralguide.co.uk

Thoughts of a funeral-goer

21 September 2012
Charles
3 Comments
Categories: Thoughts of a funeralgoer

Posted by Lyra Mollington

Daisy is one of those people who pretends she hasn’t a care in the world when really she is a quivering heap of insecurity and doubt.  Ask her how old she is and she will cheerily reply, ‘21 and holding!’ (She’s 71 and slowly slipping like the rest of us.)

She’s been particularly unsettled since a dead body was discovered just a few doors from where she lives.  As I reported last week, a young stowaway had fallen from a plane.

We needed to talk so I invited her round for a coffee.  It was Mr M’s birthday a few days ago and I gave him one of those espresso coffee machines.  I had wanted one for ages.  Over a café latte and some Seriously Chocolate Tiffin from Waitrose, Daisy revealed that she had made some ‘life-changing’ decisions.

Firstly, she decided to get rid of her urns.  You may remember that she had several of these displayed on her mantelpiece.  Not all the contents are of human origin – most are from her pet dogs.  Barry refers to them as ‘clutter’.  By ‘get rid of’ she means she’s put them up in the loft.  This is a splendid idea – a modern sky burial.

Secondly, she’s invited Barry to move in with her.  I have no idea what they’ve been waiting for – although Barry was probably waiting for those urns to go.  She explained, as though it had never occurred to her before, ‘Life’s too short to care what the neighbours think.’  I didn’t like to say but the neighbours are probably thinking the same as me, ‘About time too!’   

Thirdly, she’s written a will.  When I asked her why she hadn’t done this years ago, she replied, ‘You’ll think I’m being silly but I’ve always thought it would be the kiss of death.’ I don’t think she’s silly at all (well not in this instance).  For Daisy, and many others I’m sure, writing a will is like saying, ‘I’m ready – take me now.’

As it turned out, it WAS the kiss of death – but not for Daisy.  One of her neighbours, whose opinions she had been so concerned about, died the following day.  Her husband John has asked Daisy if she will help him with all the arrangements.  He’s at a loss to know where to begin, not least because for the past fifty years his wife made all the decisions.

We’re going round to John’s this afternoon armed with a laptop and the Natural Death Handbook.   

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