The Gravedigger’s Wedding
THE GRAVEDIGGER’S WEDDING by Kevin Paul and Harold Arpthorp (1926) ‘Twas the day of the gravedigger’s wedding, The churchyard was shrouded in gloom, And the lads of the village sat silent, As they played tiddley winks on a tomb. The villagers trooped up the High Street, Trying their best not to grieve, They were losing […]
Wilko Johnson on the fear of death
Former Dr Feelgood guitarist has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given nine months to live. As he embarks on his farewell tour, this is what he says about it: “The things that used to bring me down, or worry me, or annoy me, they don’t matter anymore — and that’s when you sit […]
Spooky spoilsport
As Sean Eddleston lay dying he told his partner, Sharon Grant, that he wanted her never to date anyone else. Since then, his ghost has frightened off every one of her suitors. The Sun newspaper takes up the story: Five years since Sean’s death, Sharon, now 44, claims to have had three relationships dashed by […]
Another no-frills funeral service
There was a big splash in Saturday’s Daily Mail about a budget funeral newcomer to Funeralworld, Cremdirect. Set up in June 2012, Cremdirect has already performed 70 funerals at an all-in fixed price of £1750 and serves Manchester, Buxton and Macclesfield and environs. We called up the founder, Mark Roebuck, and put to him the […]
Actuarially, we’re all dying younger — just — perhaps
From The Actuary, 24 January 2013: The total number of deaths in England and Wales in 2012 was 499,000 – 15,000 more than in 2011 and in excess of the total for any of the three previous years. Mortality worsened by 1% over last year for the combined male and female population – after a 3.8% improvement […]
‘I am expecting to kill myself’
Writing in the BBC News Magazine, writer Will Self has news for you. Here are some extracts: This may seem rather shocking to you but I am expecting to kill myself. Really I am, and if you’ll hear me out I hope to at least nudge society in the direction of considering suicide acceptable when – […]
Getting it all at once
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Euphemism of the week
Euphemisms for ‘died’ abound. That nasty old tell-it-as-it-is d-word — nah, we can’t be doing with it. In a letter to the Oldie, Chris Butler alerts us to a new one: The department of Energy and Climate Change’s recent ‘Impact Assessment of the Introduction of Air Quality Requirements into the Renewable Heat Incentive’ leads off […]
The f-word
Some people in Funeralworld get in a pickle about formaldehyde. It’s an f-word. Natural buriers won’t have it. Embalmers get cancer from it. MDF coffins are damnably full of it. It’s bad. How bad? The World Health Organisation published its own findings as long ago as 1991. I’m grateful to the Funeral Consumers Alliance for putting […]
Go gentle
Years ago, Charlie, a highly respected orthopedist and a mentor of mine, found a lump in his stomach. He had a surgeon explore the area, and the diagnosis was pancreatic cancer. This surgeon was one of the best in the country … Charlie was uninterested. He went home the next day, closed his practice, and never […]
