THE GRAVEDIGGER’S WEDDING
Author: Charles
Wilko Johnson on the fear of death
Former Dr Feelgood guitarist has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given nine months to live. As he embarks on his farewell tour, this is what he says about it:
“The things that used to bring me down, or worry me, or annoy me, they don’t matter anymore — and that’s when you sit thinking, ‘Wow, why didn’t I work this out before? Why didn’t I work out before that it’s just the moment you’re in that matters?’
“Worrying about the future or regretting the past is just a foolish waste of time. Of course we can’t all be threatened with imminent death, but it probably takes that to knock a bit of sense into our heads.
“Every little thing you see, every cold breeze against your face, every brick in the road, you think ‘I’m alive, I’m alive’ — I hope I can hang onto that.
“I’ve had a fantastic life. When I think about the things that have happened to me and the things I’ve done, I think anybody who asks for more would just be being greedy. I don’t wanna be greedy.”
Hat-tip to the Gloria Mundi blog.
Spooky spoilsport
As Sean Eddleston lay dying he told his partner, Sharon Grant, that he wanted her never to date anyone else. Since then, his ghost has frightened off every one of her suitors. The Sun newspaper takes up the story:
Five years since Sean’s death, Sharon, now 44, claims to have had three relationships dashed by her ex appearing from beyond the grave to give her fellas the frights of their lives.
She says he PULLED the hair of one lover, PINNED her to the bed so she couldn’t get up and answer the door to the same fella — and even APPEARED next to him on the sofa.
Sharon is now coming to terms with the fact Sean may always interfere in her relationships.
She says: “A friend of mine told me to get my place exorcised but I’m not sure I want to. Although Sean has been a pain, I do like having him around. A part of him is still here and I find that comforting.
“Some nights I’ll sit down on my own in the front room and chat to him. I know he’s there, I can feel his presence. I was never interested in ghosts and ghouls before Sean died and had no opinion on whether they existed. Now I know they do.
“I tell Sean I need that physical relationship with another man but it doesn’t mean I don’t still love him. I can be there for hours just chatting. I only hope Sean is listening.
“But he needs to let me get on with my life.”
Full story in The Sun here.
Another no-frills funeral service
There was a big splash in Saturday’s Daily Mail about a budget funeral newcomer to Funeralworld, Cremdirect. Set up in June 2012, Cremdirect has already performed 70 funerals at an all-in fixed price of £1750 and serves Manchester, Buxton and Macclesfield and environs.
We called up the founder, Mark Roebuck, and put to him the sorts of questions anyone would want to know the answers to.
Mark, your background is the motor trade. What experience have you got of undertaking? Mark replied that he has a little, and he employs three staff with around 100 years’ experience between them.
We asked Mark about his mortuary. It’s in a unit at Compstall Mill on the outskirts of Stockport, next to a country park. There’s a good and proper refrigeration unit – no coldroom and racking. There’s even a small chapel of rest for those who change their mind and decide they want to visit – though the website makes clear that Cremdirect does not offer ‘viewing facilities’. He encourages families who want to visit to do so at the hospital mortuary, where Cremdirect can leave bodies until a day or so before the funeral.
Clients can make arrangements either in the office at Compstall or, as usually happens, at their homes.
We asked Mark about his price and wondered if it might not be a bit on the high side by comparison with similar providers (eg Powell and Family Direct at £1497 and Richard Fearnley at £1397.) He puts it down to the cremation fee in his area – around £600. Another factor may be his refusal to use foil coffins. He’ll only use veneer. He doesn’t want his funerals to look cheap. He even has a Daimler hearse, so he’s clearly a bit of a funeral romantic.
Mark has been greeted warmly and supportively by the undertaking community in Manchester and has found local suppliers delighted to serve him. Or not, as the case may be.
Tomorrow, he’s on the Jeremy Vine show on R2. He sounded a bit apprehensive. This is a lot of publicity for a wee startup that’s not doing much different from a number of other firms serving the fuss-free market. Mark hasn’t courted any of this publicity; it just seems to have happened to him in the random way the media works.
Actuarially, we’re all dying younger — just — perhaps
From The Actuary, 24 January 2013:
The total number of deaths in England and Wales in 2012 was 499,000 – 15,000 more than in 2011 and in excess of the total for any of the three previous years.
Mortality worsened by 1% over last year for the combined male and female population – after a 3.8% improvement in 2011.
Men’s mortality improved by 0.2% and women’s worsened by 2%. This was significantly less than the average annual improvements of 2.8% for men and 2.2% for women seen over the 10 years to 2011.
Read the whole article here.
‘I am expecting to kill myself’
Writing in the BBC News Magazine, writer Will Self has news for you. Here are some extracts:
This may seem rather shocking to you but I am expecting to kill myself.
Really I am, and if you’ll hear me out I hope to at least nudge society in the direction of considering suicide acceptable when – and this is the important point – the alternative is a slow painful death from a terminal illness.
Such is the brilliance of contemporary medical science, at least in our privileged realm, that we can be kept breathing long past the point where our existence is anything save miserable – miserable for us, miserable for our loved ones, and miserable for those who have been appointed by either by the state or a private health plan to minister unto us.
I’ve observed what might be termed a “creeping normalcy” in the existence of the terminally ill – with each successive stage of greater incapacity, indignity and discomfort somehow managing to be incorporated into the daily go-round.
[We] cannot hope to understand how to have a good life, unless we also ready ourselves for a good death.
Read it all here.
Hat-tip: Jed
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The GFG — putting life back into death
Euphemism of the week
Euphemisms for ‘died’ abound. That nasty old tell-it-as-it-is d-word — nah, we can’t be doing with it.
In a letter to the Oldie, Chris Butler alerts us to a new one:
The department of Energy and Climate Change’s recent ‘Impact Assessment of the Introduction of Air Quality Requirements into the Renewable Heat Incentive’ leads off with an interesting sentence: “The combustion of biomass in renewable heat generation creates, through the emissions of air pollutants, a negative externality.” This ‘negative externality’ is a euphemism for killing people.
The f-word
Some people in Funeralworld get in a pickle about formaldehyde. It’s an f-word. Natural buriers won’t have it. Embalmers get cancer from it. MDF coffins are damnably full of it. It’s bad.
How bad?
The World Health Organisation published its own findings as long ago as 1991. I’m grateful to the Funeral Consumers Alliance for putting us on to it. The findings are illuminating. Here are some extracts:
Under atmospheric conditions, formaldehyde is readily photooxidized by sunlight to carbon dioxide.
Formaldehyde kills viruses, bacteria, fungi, and parasites, and has found wide use as a fumigant. It is a disinfectant with a broad efficiency
There is some natural formaldehyde in raw food
Formaldehyde is readily absorbed via the respiratory and gastrointestinal routes. Dermal absorption of formaldehyde appears to be very slight. Increases in blood concentrations of formaldehyde were not detected in rats or human beings exposed to formaldehyde through inhalation, because of rapid metabolism.
Formaldehyde is carcinogenic in rats and mice. It produced nasal squamous cell carcinomas in rats exposed to high concentrations (17.2 mg/m3) … [Among humans] the causal role of formaldehyde is considered likely only for nasal and nasopharyngeal cancer.
Areas in which formaldehyde is handled must be well ventilated. Normally, mechanical ventilation is necessary.
Formaldehyde is widely present in the environment, as a result of natural processes and from man-made sources.
Formaldehyde in soil and water is … biodegraded in a relatively short time.
Formaldehyde is toxic for several aquatic organisms, but its ready biodegradability, low bioaccumulation, and the ability of organisms to metabolize it indicate that the impact of formaldehyde on the aquatic environment is limited, except in the case of major pollution. Similar considerations apply to the atmosphere and the terrestrial environment where hazards will only occur when massive discharges or releases lead to major local pollution. The non-persistence of formaldehyde means that effects will not be permanent.
Full WHO report here.
Go gentle
Years ago, Charlie, a highly respected orthopedist and a mentor of mine, found a lump in his stomach. He had a surgeon explore the area, and the diagnosis was pancreatic cancer. This surgeon was one of the best in the country … Charlie was uninterested. He went home the next day, closed his practice, and never set foot in a hospital again. He focused on spending time with family and feeling as good as possible. Several months later, he died at home. He got no chemotherapy, radiation, or surgical treatment.
If this is how doctors choose to die, why do they go to such lengths to provide ‘futile care’ for their patients?
Find out in this fascinating and important article in Zocalo.
Hat-tip to Rupee