Author: Charles

Walker family history

17 January 2013
Charles
4 Comments
Categories: family funeral directors

A feature of family undertakers’ websites is the inordinate amount of space given to dynastic history replete with sepia photos of bowlegged ancestors swathed in fog walking fierce-eyed so far as you can see in front of a Humber Bumble (or whatever).

Good breeding isn’t something we necessarily defer to any more, neither, in a meritocratic society, is hereditary an impressive attribute. We’d all rather be fixed by a dentist who had chosen to be a dentist and worked hard to become a dentist, than by a sixth-generation dentist who’d had the drill passed to her by her parent.

Of course, the point of all this genealogy is to exude stability, rootedness and an accumulation of arcane knowledge. It seems to confer majesty and offer a guarantee of excellence.

And it would — if vocational zeal were embedded in DNA. But of course it’s not. Which is why a number of family funeral businesses are actually very poorly and complacently run, the foundational values having evaporated.

All that matters to funeral shoppers is whether a funeral director is any good. Now.

So it is a matter of both relief and some appreciative amusement to see the fifth generation business AB Walker & Son of Reading summarise its family history as follows:

Established as coach masters in 1826 and obtained outright by the Marlow based Walker family who moved to Reading in the 1870’s, the definitive history of the company would take up most of this website. Suffice to say there has been the full spectrum of conflicts, accidents, unexpected deaths, unexplained births, intrigue and captivating loyalty that would explain why the firm exists as it does today.

As with all families, each generation brings something new and now it is the turn of the fifth generation to act as custodians of the business. As the saying goes – the rest is history…

Way To Go

16 January 2013
Charles
1 Comment
Categories: Assisted dying, Assisted suicide

From the Daily Mail, an emollient newspaper for those who like to keep their blood pressure low: 

The BBC came under fire today for a new sitcom which makes light of assisted suicide.

A new series starring Blake Harrison, of the Inbetweeners, tells the story of three young men who build a suicide machine and offer the ‘service’ to those who wish to end their lives.

But a prominent Tory MP expressed his disgust at the programme’s premise, slamming it for turning suicide into a joke.

Mark Pritchard, MP for The Wrekin, told the Sunday Express: ‘It is a sad fact that assisted dying is now regarded as a ‘revenue stream’ to some foreign clinics and clearly as a matter of fun by some parts of the BBC.’

Tea, cakes, death and a movie

16 January 2013
Charles
2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorised

The Natural Death Centre Charity proudly presents:

The NDC Death Café

Film Event

2.30pm – 5pm

Sunday 24 February 2013

London NW2 6AA

(near Willesden Green underground station)

Suggested donation : £5  

 

As part of this Death Café, young documentary filmmaker Olivia Humphreys will show her 20 minute film  ‘Noctuaries’. Josefine Speyer, psychotherapist and co-founder of the Natural Death Centre, will host the event.

Come and join us for a free flowing conversation around the topic of dying, death and bereavement. Whilst sitting comfortably in a relaxed setting, drink tea and eat delicious cake or sandwiches and enjoy an open, respectful and confidential space for discussion, free of discrimination where people can express their views safely.

To participate, please email a note to Josefine at josefine@josefinespeyer.com with your name and phone number and how you heard about the event. She’ll send you an email to confirm your place. Thanks!

Filmmaker Biography:

Olivia Humphreys is a documentary filmmaker and writer based in London, and recently completed a Masters in Screen Documentary at Goldsmiths. Her graduation film won the Royal Television Society award for Best Postgraduate Factual Film and the Best Documentary award at Exposures Film Festival. Her films have been screened in over forty festivals worldwide.

Synopsis:

“In the ten years since my mother’s death, my family and I have had frequent, vivid and profoundly moving dreams about her. ‘Noctuaries’ looks at how each of us has responded to these dreams, and how they have formed part of our grieving.”

The Natural Death Centre (Registered Charity
 Number 1091396) needs your support. It relies entirely on donations and book sales. Established in 1991, it is a social, entrepreneurial, educational charity that gives free, impartial advice on all aspects of dying, bereavement and consumer rights, including family-organised and environmentally friendly funerals. It runs a helpline and sells the new Natural Death Handbook.

www.naturaldeath.org.uk

www.deathcafe.com

Death lit

16 January 2013
Charles
20 Comments
Categories: Natural Death Centre

The Natural Death Centre now has its own online e-magazine. Aimed at consumers, it has features which will also interest funeral directors and celebrants. There’s a straight-talking  feature about natural burial, an analysis of the rise of direct cremation, some radical talk about open-air cremation, a caveat emptor article for funeral shoppers by Jon Underwood, the Death Café man (there’s something about them, too), plus all sorts of other goodies. 

Download it, free, and find out for yourself. 

If you like it, email it to a friend. 

Click the link here. 

I never met a raven I didn’t like

16 January 2013
Charles
8 Comments
Categories: funeral directors, natural burial

Dr. Berndt Heinrich, 72, emeritus biology professor at the University of Vermont, spends much of his time in a cabin in the woods with no electricity or running water, studying animals. His latest book, “Life Everlasting: The Animal Way of Death”, is about how animals die and how they recycle each other:

It’s not so much about death as life. The carcass provides a huge amount of concentrated food for the animals who are recyclers.

I first started thinking about it when a former student, Bill, wrote saying he was terminally ill and what would I think about his having a “sky burial” on my property in Maine? He wanted to leave his body to the ravens. Bill did not want to be cremated or buried in a sealed box. He wanted to be recycled and have his body provide food for other creatures.

Does that name Bill ring any distant bells? No? It ought to. Bill Jordan? Still not with it? Okay, you give in. You first read about him here, on this blog, in May 2011, when he broached his (some would say eccentric) desire that his remains ‘return to the living molecular plasma that the surface of the earth nurtures and maintains. Consequently, I am almost obsessed with having my corpse laid out upon the surface, to fulfill the needs of the natural world. I am attaching a short musing on the subject.‘ Do go back and read it; it’s one of the best things we have ever published.

Dr Heinrich addresses the bad reputation enjoyed by scavenger species, vultures and ravens particularly. He says ‘It’s because of their association with death — they are blamed for it. Ravens get blamed a lot for killing a lot of things when, in fact, they mostly eat the dead and the nearly dead. It’s an illogical association that comes from a lack of understanding of what these animals do. Consider what would happen in the ocean if nothing ate the dead fish. Eventually, the ocean would be up to the top with dead fish. If there were no recyclers, nature would stop.’ He adds: ‘Ravens are very appealing. I’ve never met a raven I didn’t like.’

There’s an insight here into the public perception of undertakers. 

Interesting isn’t it that of all species, humans go out of their way to avoid being recycled in this way? 

Read more about Dr Heinrich in the New York Times here. 

An Experiential Enquiry into Death & Dying

15 January 2013
Charles
No comments
Categories: Attitudes to death, dying, End-of-life issues

Experiential retreat run by The Sammasati Project: An Experiential Enquiry into Death & Dying — 6-10 March 2013

An intense and tender process, this workshop provides an opportunity to gather the experience, knowledge, and skills needed to prepare for our own dying. Not only will this impact how we face our own death but how we live, post-workshop, too. It allows us to experience some of the many issues which confront a person when they realise that they will soon die such as fear, shock, guilt, grief, anger, regrets, pain, loss of control, completing relationships, changing perceptions, insights, relaxation, spiritual understandings and many more. 

This experiential understanding in turn will help us to be of greater support to others in their dying process whether they are family, friends or in a professional environment if we are in the health or caring sector. It is the first module of the Sammasati Support–Person Training, which can be continued in April at the same venue.

This workshop is in the form of a retreat and will include an exploration of the mystic Osho’s vision of dying consciously and joyfully. We will experiment with a range of meditative methods, and gain an experiential understanding of the transition called dying and the practice of the bardo.

The process can provide a greater appreciation of life, of the profundity of death, and of the pivotal role of meditation throughout.

Doctor and author Michael Murphy suggests, ‘If there is no training, and [support people] have not taken conscious heed of their own loneliness and disconnection, no wonder that there is bluster and fear [about dying]. Since dying involves body, soul, and spirit… lectures or instruction manuals are inadequate since feelings are very much involved. In order to be a truly competent guide, [the support person’s] training needs to be very personal, helping him to imagine his own dying and the dying of those he loves. Only then will he be in a more comfortable position to help others, since he himself will be able to become more a witness and guide…(The Wisdom of Dying: Practices for Living).

Read some testimonials from previous participants of this workshop on http://www.maneeshajames.com/testimonials.htm and watch the video testimonials at http://bit.ly/VENer0

Cost: 
£595 – includes accommodation and food
£545 – early bird price if paid in full before 17 January 2013

Venue: Monkton Wyld Court, Bridport, Dorset DT6 6DQ

Date: 6 March at 18:00 until 10 March at 18:00

The course will be facilitated by Maneesha James and Sudheer Niet who both have extensive experience in facilitating and teaching meditation; relating or ‘being with’ skills; supporting others in the dying process and a background in nursing.

Note that, as for those wishing to participate in the entire Training, an interview with Maneesha is a pre-requisite.

Please see our Training page at www.thesammasatiproject.co.uk for more information and contact details.

Links to the retreat are also: 

https://www.facebook.com/events/569293513086711/ 

http://www.iluna.co.uk/eventdetail/13210/an-experiential-enquiry-into-death-dying.html

 

What goes around…

15 January 2013
Charles
18 Comments
Categories: celebrants

Here’s most of an article in the Spectator, 5 January, by Peter Jones. It quotes a letter by Seneca the Younger (AD 1-65) describing the pagan idea of religious feeling. Given the disposition of most Britons towards matters of faith, you’ll possibly reckon this amazingly contemporary. 

After discussing the divine spirit ‘which guards us and watches us in the evil and good we do‘, [Seneca] turns to nature: ‘Imagine you come across a dense wood of exceptionally tall, ancient trees that shut out all sight of the sky with thick screens of overlaying branches. Its loftiness, its seclusion and your wonderment at finding so deep and unbroken a gloom out in the open, will prove the presence of a deity. Likewise, an impressive cave hollowed out deep into a mountain, produced not by the labours of men but the processes of nature, will strike into your soul some kind of inkling of the divine. We venerate the sources of important streams; places where a mighty river bursts suddenly from hiding are provided with altars; hot springs are objects of worship; the darkness or unfathomable depth of a pool has made their waters sacred.‘ It is the singularities of nature that create and demonstrate the presence of the numinous. So if you meet a man ‘never terrified by dangers, never touched by desires, happy in adversity, calm in the midst of storm … will not a feeling of veneration for him come over you?‘

Jones concludes (my bold):

However that may be, we see here no creeds, no centrally controlled political structure; just manifestations of ‘the divine’ for all to appreciate. Ancient religions were very good at providing channels to the divine while also promoting the general social cohesion … without demanding any particular set of beliefs.

No Tears In Glory

14 January 2013
Charles
No comments
Categories: funeral music, music

This old eye, is filled with sorrow
Heartaches and pain, and tears that flow
But when we reach there, city called Glory
We won’t have to cry no more

CHORUS

There’ll be no tears, no tears in Glory
Over there, no tears will flow
There’ll be no tears, no tears Glory
We wont have to cry no more

They tell me that heaven is a beautiful city
Jesus will be waiting, at the entering door
He’s going to wipe all, all my tears away
Oh we won’t have to cry no more

By and by we will reach that city, that we only live holy
Down here below, when I read my Bible it tells me so
It tells me that I won’t have to cry no more

Dead cert

14 January 2013
Charles
No comments
Categories: Uncategorised

From the Sunday Times, 13 January:

Punters in Taiwan are betting on when the terminally sick will die. According to the China Press newspaper, more than 10 syndicates have been set up in senior citizens’ clubs in the city of Taichung to bet on the longevity of cancer patients. The paper claims that gamblers even include doctors and patients’ families. 

Bookies seek permission from the families and gambler and then visit the patient to assess their condition. Minimum bets are around £40, but some punters have reportedly placed stakes as high as £200,000. If the patient dies within a month, the bookies win. But if they cling on for between one and six months, the gamblers win three times their wager and the families get 10%. China Press says police are investigating. 

Someone

14 January 2013
Charles
3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorised

Someone

someone is dressing up for death today, a change of skirt or tie
eating a final feast of buttered sliced pan, tea
scarcely having noticed the erection that was his last
shaving his face to marble for the icy laying out
spraying with deodorant her coarse armpit grass
someone today is leaving home on business
saluting, terminally, the neighbours who will join in the cortege
someone is paring his nails for the last time, a precious moment
someone’s waist will not be marked with elastic in the future
someone is putting out milkbottles for a day that will not come
someone’s fresh breath is about to be taken clean away
someone is writing a cheque that will be rejected as ‘drawer deceased’
someone is circling posthumous dates on a calendar
someone is listening to an irrelevant weather forecast
someone is making rash promises to friends
someone’s coffin is being sanded, laminated, shined
who feels this morning quite as well as ever
someone if asked would find nothing remarkable in today’s date
perfume and goodbyes her final will and testament
someone today is seeing the world for the last time
as innocently as he had seen it first

Dennis O’Driscoll