Author: Charles

Day out for the family skulls

15 November 2012
Charles
No comments
Categories: memorialisation

From Wikipedia: Dia de los ñatitas (“Day of the Skulls”) is a festival celebrated in La Paz, Bolivia, on May 5. In pre–Columbian times, indigenous Andeans had a tradition of sharing a day with the bones of their ancestors on the third year after burial; however, only the skulls are used today. Traditionally, the skulls of family members are kept at home to watch over the family and protect them during the year. On November 9, the family crowns the skulls with fresh flowers, sometimes also dressing them in various garments, and making offerings of cigarettes, coca leaves, alcohol, and various other items in thanks for the year’s protection. The skulls are also sometimes taken to the central cemetery in La Paz for a special Mass and blessing.

You are the referee

15 November 2012
Charles
8 Comments
Categories: ashes, funeral directors, Legal rights

Here’s another pay-up-or-else story — true but anonymised and deliberately undated. 

A funeral director is refusing to hand over the ashes until the balance of the bill is settled — which it will be if the DSS claim is successful. 

Does he have the right to do this? 

You can’t arrest a corpse for debt because there is no property in a corpse. But what is the legal status of ashes? Are they property? This is something the 1902 Cremation Act didn’t think of, as we have seen in an earlier post. Briefly, they are and they aren’t. If they are, then the funeral director would seem to be justified in withholding them against payment. 

Except that the client’s contract, in terms of cremating the body, was with the crematorium, and the fee to the crematorium was a third-party payment paid in full by the funeral director on behalf of the client. The crematorium fulfilled its contract and presumably has the right to expect the funeral director, as the appointed collector of the ashes, to hand them over to its client. 

Other legal advice offered by solicitors in the locality favours the funeral director.

You are the referee. Is the funeral director legally and morally justified in his actions? 

(We don’t know.) 

Another new death mag

14 November 2012
Charles
7 Comments
Categories: Uncategorised

The senior management team here at the GFG-Batesville Shard have spoken at some length to Sue White, above, about her new magazine venture, Farewell Magazine. We were impressed. Farewell Magazine is described below in a press release we have just had from her people:

Funerals and dying are taboo subjects in today’s society, but one woman has set about changing that, following the death of her own father.

Sue White has spent the last seven years in the wedding industry, but is now launching Farewell Magazine, a quarterly publication designed to demystify the funeral trade.

The 54-year-old from Chesterfield, in Derbyshire, is giving up her high-flying career as director of White Media, helping to organise 20 wedding fairs a year across the East Midlands and North of England.

Instead she plans to look death in the face and unveil the new magazine which will provide practical, emotional and professional advice for people grieving, preparing for death or simply intrigued by what the options are.

Sue said: “I have spent the majority of my planning career working in the weddings industry, which is very much about planning the happiest day of someone’s life. But when I lost my own dear dad I realized that as a nation we are totally unprepared for what can be the saddest day of our lives.

“Because we don’t talk about death, or funerals, when it comes to planning a loved one’s send-off often we have no idea what they might have wanted, or how to go about organizing it.

“I felt there was a total lack of information about palliative care, funeral planning and memorial ideas and that it was about time we started talking about dying, instead of pretending that it’s not going to happen. Death is inevitable, yet few of us consider it until confrontation is absolutely unavoidable.

“I also felt it was time to lift the lid on the funeral industry – let’s find out what’s changing, what’s innovative and above all what options are available to us when the time comes.”

Sue was inspired to make the move from weddings to funerals when her own father James Gault, an RAF war hero, passed away in August 2011.

The publication is not the first magazine Sue has published – she has spent five years producing a regional title, White Weddings Magazine which is sold at 370 independent outlets, including John Lewis and Debenhams.

Farewell Magazine, which comes out end of January, will be stocked at more than 120 branches of WH Smith and be available in more than 3,000 funeral homes, crematoriums and cemeteries, as well as hospitals, hospices and solicitors practices nationwide.

Each edition will feature inspiring real life stories of people who made a difference, take a look behind the scenes in the funeral industry, help readers create a meaningful and memorable funeral ceremony or memorial and profile innovative and pioneering new services.

The first issue looks at the process of turning ashes into diamonds, introduces motorcycle funerals, explains what to do when someone dies and pays tribute to an inspirational seven-year-old who touched the hearts of his whole community.

In an era when many long-standing publications are downsizing, Sue is passionate that there is a gap in the market for a title offering an advertising platform for the funeral trade.

Advertisers  already signed up include Golden Leaves Funeral Plans, Cooperative Funerals and Colourful Coffins.

Sue added: “We firmly believe there is demand from both readers and advertisers and we’re in an unrivalled position to launch this magazine, with nothing else like it in the marketplace.

“We have been delighted by the positive response from the industry which has whole-heartedly bought into the concept of Farewell Magazine and supported the new publication by investing long term from issue one.

 “There is a gap in the market for a publication that’s both inspirational and informative, something with substance, featuring engaging, well-written stories that our readers will identify with, particularly if they are looking for avenues of inspiration and guidance towards the end of their life.      

 “The time has come to start talking about death and put aside our own fears about dying. We’re all scared of the unknown, but death isthe one inevitable element of life.”

* Farewell Magazine has an initial circulation of 20,000 and a cover price of £3.95. It is also available for subscription at home and abroad via the website, www.farewell-magazine.co.uk

 

Doing a good job?

14 November 2012
Charles
7 Comments
Categories: Attitudes to death, Death education, Death; Good death

Dying Matters is surveying its members to see what they think about how well it’s doing. The GFG was one of the first 100 orgs to sign up to Dying Matters.

Statements on the survey (5 possible responses from Strongly agree to Strongly disagree) include: 

The Dying Matters Coalition has helped highlight the need for more open discussion around dying and death.

Dying Matters has produced some helpful materials and events for coalition members.

Dying Matters has kept coalition members well informed and engaged in the work of the coalition.

To be honest, we’re not especially aware of the work of Dying Matters here at the GFG, and that could well be an oversight. It’d be interesting to know what you think. 

Quote of the Day

13 November 2012
Charles
1 Comment
Categories: Quotes

“Military funerals have become pagan orgies of idolatrous blasphemy, where they pray to the dunghill gods of Sodom & play taps to a fallen fool.”

Statement issued by the never knowingly understated Westboro Baptist Church. More here. 

Journey’s end recedes

13 November 2012
Charles
2 Comments
Categories: Longevity

As medicine, diet, lifestyles etc reconfigure the landscape of dying by enabling us to live longer / enjoy extra twilight years (not me, I smoke), our relationship with death is altering. When death cuts a life cruelly short it is held to be a Bad Thing; when it brings to a merciful close a too-long life it is held to be a Good Thing. And the balance is shifting in favour of the latter — viz the recent and growing assisted dying movement. Lives are still cut cruelly short, but fewer than ever before. 

Stats produced by the International Longevity Centre UK, reported in the Sunday Times, may induce in some a sentiment which chimes with that of Leslie Sarony in his song, Ain’t It Grand To Be Blooming Well Dead.

More than a third of babies born today will live to a hundred, the report suggests. It’ll take them til they’re 52 to pay off their university debt and til they’re 61 to pay off their mortgage. Marriage will come later at age 33.

Retirement will not start until they are 70.

 

Pay up or else

13 November 2012
Charles
15 Comments
Categories: Co-operative Funeralcare

Ian Godfrey’s brother Michael died intestate aged 40 in August of this year. His funeral arrangements were undertaken by Ian’s sister, Sally. The chosen funeral director was the Nailsea branch of Co-operative Funeralcare, who duly prepared an estimate. Click on it to bring it up to full size (Sally’s full name and address have been redacted): 

The funeral went ahead and, throughout, the people at Nailsea weren’t just exemplary, they were lovely.

Ian and Sally did not have ready funds to pay for Michael’s funeral but they explained (this happens all the time, doesn’t it?) that there was money tied up in assets which would have to be sold. 

They explained this also to Michael’s credit card company, who froze his account and will add no further interest payments to the outstanding sum. They, together with Michael’s other creditors,  are happy to wait until funds are available. “We understand that these things take time,” they all said. 

All, that is, except for Co-operative Funeralcare who, Ian tells me, are “threatening to sue my sister, who paid the deposit and is therefore now considered to be the customer.” There have been demanding letters. Here is the latest demanding  letter. Again, click on it to brig it up to full size. 

The staff at Nailsea have continued to be sympathetic and helpful. It’s the people at “‘credit control’ or whatever they like to call themselves” who are, Ian and Sally feel, being very hard-nosed. Ian adds: “it is on the phone that the threat to sue was more explicit – however they do make it clear that they will not hesitate to do that in their letter.” 

Ian and Sally are desperately anxious about Funeralcare’s behaviour and feel that, though they have kept in constant touch and tried to keep them informed, they simply haven’t been listened to. They don’t want to be sued and they don’t think it’s right that they should be sued. But they don’t know who they can speak to in the organisation to ask for the time they need to liquidate Michael’s assets. 

In their position, what would you do? 

Quote of the Day

12 November 2012
Charles
No comments
Categories: funeral cost, funeral directors, Marketing

“InvoCare has has seen little customer leakage.”

Invocare is the major consolidated player in the Australian funeral industry, which bears close comparison in may respects with the UK funeral industry though it also has a strong US flavour. 

Invocare ceo Andrew Smith says: “Most families don’t pick a funeral director based on price. Most will pick based on service.” In marketing terms this prompts the question: How do you transmit that message through your marketing materials?  Cutting prices is the easy way to go, you can get that across easily enough. But how do you communicate the quality of your service offer? 

Read more about Invocare here. 

Graveland

12 November 2012
Charles
7 Comments
Categories: Art and death, memorialisation

Carla Conte is holding an exhibition in late January 2013. The title is Graveland. The venue is the Crypt Gallery, London. 

Graveland takes a curious look at cemeteries and tributes from around the world, exploring ways we remember, through photography & art.

Photography, stories, objects and decorations will show some of the many different ways we commemorate a person worldwide, from the traditional to the the more unusual. This will be further explored by artwork including drawings, sculpture, installations, photographic art, film and craft.

During the week we will be making the most of the space by holding a music workshop, book club and Death Cafe, as well as holding an opening event with performances.

You can find out more on Carla’s web page. I’ll give you the link in a moment. Be patient, for heaven’s sake. 

Here’s the rub. Carla needs to raise £1000 to hold this exhibition, and she’s doing that by crowdfunding. 

We very much want you to support her because we think Carla’s terrific and we feel certain her show is going to be great. 

Please do this NOW. Just 100 tenners will see her home and dry.

Go to her web page, read all about it, then click on a Pledge button on the rhs. 

Together, we, the GFG readership, can help make something beautiful happen. 

LET’S DO IT!

Ed’s Note: Is the Kickstarter website safe? Yes it is. Type that question into Google and do your due diligence. 

Judge throws dead man out of court

9 November 2012
Charles
No comments
Categories: Humour

Two South Korean fisherfolk,  Soon Ill Hwang and Dae Jun Lee, were accused in New Zealand of illegally dumping dead fish at sea. 

What happened next?

Soon Ill Hwang was killed in a car crash.

And then?

A solicitor representing the fisheries ministry insisted to m’learned lud that the show must go on — Soon must be brought to book.

And in the end?

Judge Gary MacAskill hurled the case out with great force. “It reminds me of Monty Python and his dead parrot,” he said. 

Story