Undertaker chic

Posted by Richard Rawlinson

Autumn/winter 2012/13 fashions are in the stores and Downton Abbey is back on TV for another series. Black is often a fashion favourite for the cooler seasons, but when black is coupled with Dowtonesque, Edwardian styling, the trend takes on a distinctly funereal look.

The mood continues into interiors trends with cool greys replacing warm taupes as the colour du jour. A reflection of the collective psyche in these difficult economic times? Colour psychologist Karen Haller says: ‘If we are anxious or nervous we may also turn to grey to feel calm, which is quite an extreme way to do it as it can be so draining without any support’. 

A literary undertaking

“From that moment my mind was made up – I wanted to be an undertaker. That was that and all there was about it.” 

“A LIFE IN DEATH – Memoirs Of A Cotswold Funeral Director” by James Baker

“A Life In Death” takes the reader into the largely hidden world of death and funerals, as set against the picturesque back-drop of the Gloucestershire countryside. After spending twenty five years in the funeral profession so far, there is much that James Baker can share with readers about his professional journey and his experiences. This book was written not just to entertain, but also to enlighten and hopefully, to reassure. Above all, it offers a whole new view into the practical reality of death and bereavement in contemporary Britain. 

Written with a wide cross-section of readers in mind, this book will be of particular interest to: 

       People of all ages who are fascinated with the work of a funeral director, or readers simply looking for an entertaining account of a unique working life;

       Palliative care and/or nursing professionals wanting to understand more about the various procedures following a death and the choices open to the bereaved;

       Would-be entrants into the funeral profession;

       Those who are preparing for an imminent bereavement and who are looking for a sensitively written, but honest and truthful insight into the practical realities of death and funerals. 

“A Life In Death” fills what is still a gap in the market for an intelligent and comprehensive, but highly readable, account of life within the funeral profession. James deliberately avoids the use of hackneyed, predictably humorous anecdotes and overly-sentimental or lurid accounts of tragic episodes. Instead he offers a sensitive, insightful and nuanced account of what his working life as a West Country funeral director is really like. 

Available from Amazon, or to order from any good book retailer. 

292 Pages     Mill Place Publishing     ISBN 978-0-9573468-0-2     Paperback: £ 8.99     Kindle version: £ 2.22

Problem solved

When Co-operative Funeralcare reported itself to the NAFD in the aftermath of Channel 4’s Undercover Undertaker, it is doubtful whether the industry’s major trade body greeted the ploy with glee. A problem shared is a problem doubled. 

Was it really necessary for Funeralcare to hand themselves in? Inasmuch as the film revealed practices which fell far short of consumers’ expectations of an undertaker, no — obviously. It was clear what they should have done: they should have said sorry. To the public. They needed to have a conversation with the public. 

Why then did they hand themselves in? Presumably they had considered the Cleggalike hands-in-the-air option of apologising and rejected it in the hope of something less disagreeable. They pinned their hopes on the wording of the NAFD code of practice to make it better.

The code of practice is the instrument used by the NAFD to fend off those who would apply external regulation to the funeral industry. Its purpose is to require funeral directors to “observe at all times the basic rights of clients as consumers. To render good service at all times and make fair charges in respect of services rendered and for merchandise supplied.” It is the self-policing manual. 

The NAFD’s  Code of Practice Committee and Professional Standards Board ground into action to consider the case. The review remit was established. According to the report in NAFD house magazine Funeral Director Monthly, “It needs to be understood that the NAFD perspective in considering the programme content has a clear objective to relate the issues raised in the programme to the Rules and Guidelines and the Code of Practice of the Association.”

The first snag they encountered was that standalone hubs are not covered by the code because the code is out of date. The code only covers hubs which incorporate a retail funeral operation — ie, a shop: “The NAFD Rules require that Category A) and B) members notify us of all trading outlets, ie main offices and branches, coming under the membership trading name. Accepting that this requirement has been in the Rules in this form for many years means that, with present day modes of operation, premises as portrayed in the programme do not need to be notified to the NAFD.” (Our bold)

Whoops. (Something stronger, perhaps?)

The report in FD Monthly does not describe with what embarrassment, if any, this was acknowledged. However, Funeralcare helpfully came forward with an undertaking: “It was readily agreed by Funeralcare that the NAFD would be provided with  details of all such “Hub” units operated by Funeralcare, and that we now have immediate access to them at any time without giving notice. For the NAFD, it highlights a need to amend our Rules and procedures to meet the present day operating practices within our varied range of memberships, and to establish clear inspection processes in relation to all premises.”

So that’s all right, then. 

The NAFD went on to consider Funeralcare’s exhortation to its arrangers not to make known the availability of the simple funeral. Verdict? Not guilty. “The programme gave the impression, as other commentators have recently, that the NAFD Code requires funeral arrangers to discuss the availability of the Simple Funeral package with all clients as a matter of course. lt is clear from the Code wording that this is not necessarily the case.”

So there.

Actually, it’s not as bad as that. The NAFD admits it’s got a problem: “It would appear that there may be expectations from a public perception standpoint that require us all as members to consider and maybe review our approach to the Simple Funeral and how we offer it to our clients. For the NAFD, we need to give consideration as to how we strengthen our approach to the subject in the educational materials and the training options provided. The monitoring of compliance aspect is another area we can examine.”

While conceding that Undercover Undertaker was damaging, the NAFD wants to focus on positive outcomes. It asserts that “the future clients of Funeralcare will receive an enhanced service” and the NAFD will up its game a bit. 

Another storm cloud blew away subsequently in the course of a meeting with the Office of Fair Trading. “It was reassuring to know that, whilst they were aware of the programme, they did not view it as a cause for concern on their part, being comfortable in the knowledge that the NAFD has an input into resolving issues the programme raised.”

ED’S NOTE: Apologies for the less than timely treatment of this matter. It’s because we’ve been incredibly busy. Next week’s looking like a bit of a beast too, so if you’ve got something you’d like to blog off steam about, do send it in: charles@goodfuneralguide.co.uk

Thoughts of a funeral-goer

Posted by Lyra Mollington

Daisy is one of those people who pretends she hasn’t a care in the world when really she is a quivering heap of insecurity and doubt.  Ask her how old she is and she will cheerily reply, ‘21 and holding!’ (She’s 71 and slowly slipping like the rest of us.)

She’s been particularly unsettled since a dead body was discovered just a few doors from where she lives.  As I reported last week, a young stowaway had fallen from a plane.

We needed to talk so I invited her round for a coffee.  It was Mr M’s birthday a few days ago and I gave him one of those espresso coffee machines.  I had wanted one for ages.  Over a café latte and some Seriously Chocolate Tiffin from Waitrose, Daisy revealed that she had made some ‘life-changing’ decisions.

Firstly, she decided to get rid of her urns.  You may remember that she had several of these displayed on her mantelpiece.  Not all the contents are of human origin – most are from her pet dogs.  Barry refers to them as ‘clutter’.  By ‘get rid of’ she means she’s put them up in the loft.  This is a splendid idea – a modern sky burial.

Secondly, she’s invited Barry to move in with her.  I have no idea what they’ve been waiting for – although Barry was probably waiting for those urns to go.  She explained, as though it had never occurred to her before, ‘Life’s too short to care what the neighbours think.’  I didn’t like to say but the neighbours are probably thinking the same as me, ‘About time too!’   

Thirdly, she’s written a will.  When I asked her why she hadn’t done this years ago, she replied, ‘You’ll think I’m being silly but I’ve always thought it would be the kiss of death.’ I don’t think she’s silly at all (well not in this instance).  For Daisy, and many others I’m sure, writing a will is like saying, ‘I’m ready – take me now.’

As it turned out, it WAS the kiss of death – but not for Daisy.  One of her neighbours, whose opinions she had been so concerned about, died the following day.  Her husband John has asked Daisy if she will help him with all the arrangements.  He’s at a loss to know where to begin, not least because for the past fifty years his wife made all the decisions.

We’re going round to John’s this afternoon armed with a laptop and the Natural Death Handbook.   

As others see us

It’s always interesting to discover how others see us. Here’s a US take on the Good Funeral Awards:

The British have something of a reputation for a degree of ‘quirkiness’, and this seems no different in their approach to the death care industry.  The UK has recently held an event to celebrate the innovation emerging in the ‘alternative’ sector of the funeral industry.  This was staged in recognition of the changing trends in green funerals, life celebrations, new online memorial technologies and the more weird and wacky offerings that people can choose for their final send-off.

The Joy of Death Festival was staged in Bournemouth on the September 7 – 9th 2012 and attended by good funeral folks from all over the United Kingdom.  The strap line for the event “A weekend for the Living!”

There’s more here.

Where only the best will do

 

A recent comment in the Guardian reminds us of the setbacks to the cause of better funerals that can be wrought by indifferent celebrants. Well, that’s my interpretation of this:

I was unfortunate enough to attend a “humanist funeral” a couple of years ago. It struck me as utterly fatuous and silly, without the appropriate respect for life or any real solace to those who were grieving, and in no way provided any alternative to the religious rituals which enable many people to make sense of their lives. Possibly this is because atheist philosophies are relatively new, and need to develop, but I have my doubts.

Source

A very damp day, some part Foggy, not very Cold

A guest post by Mike Rendell

We are very grateful to Mike Rendell for so generously sharing with us this fascinating account of an eighteenth century funeral. Mike Rendell is a published author who specializes in 18th Century history. He blogs on all aspects of life in the Georgian era here.  Mike is an especially fortunate family historian. He tells me “I still cannot believe how much of my ancestors’ paperwork has survived from the Georgian period, and it is good to share it.” 

I recently came across the bill submitted to my ancestor Richard Hall by the Funeral Director on the occasion of the death of his first wife Eleanor in 1780. The undertakers (that is to say, the company which undertook the arrangements….) were John Cooper & Co. 

Their bill gives some idea of what was involved in a funeral in the Georgian Era in the latter part of the 18th Century. Eleanor Hall had died in her 47th year – she got up and had breakfast as normal on 11th January 1780 at her home at One London Bridge, had a splitting headache at midday, and was dead by six in the evening. In all probability she suffered a brain haemorrhage. It must have been a terrible shock for Richard, who had married Eleanor nearly 27 years earlier, and for their three grown-up children, who all lived at the property.

Richard records her death in his diary “Oh the affliction of this Day. My Dear and Affectionate Wife was suddenly seiz’d with a pain in her head after Twelve at Noon, which issued in a Fit; no Prescription of Physician Avail’d”

Richard was devastated and made a beautiful cut-out in paper as a memorial. The memento is only just over one inch across and is extraordinarily delicate.

He would have employed the firm of John Cooper & Co to make all the arrangements for the actual funeral, which was to take place at Bunhill Burial Grounds (where many Dissenters were buried). Richard and Eleanor were both Baptists and as an additional incentive to choose Bunhill, it was where both her parents had been buried back in 1754. The expenses included opening up the family vault and constructing a tent over it so as to keep prying eyes at bay.

The invoice starts by showing the actual funeral as taking place on January 18th, exactly one week after Eleanor’s death.

To start with the actual coffin and furniture:

An inside Elm Coffin lined and ruffled with fine Crape and a mattress (£1/11/6)

A Superfine Sheet, Shroud and Pillow (£1/15/00)

An outside lead coffin with plate of Inscription (£4/10/00)

An Elm case covered with fine Black Cloth, finish’d in the best Manner with black nails and drape, Lead Plate Cherubim handles, lead plate and wrought Gripes (that is to say, grips) (£5/10/00).

Then there were the extras:

4 Men going in with Lead Coffin and Case (10/-)

7 Tickets and Delivering – 7 shillings. (These would have been official invitations to attend the funeral service, sent out to close friends and often in the form of Memento Mori like this one, shown courtesy of the University of Missouri).

Hanging the Shop and Stair-case in Mourning (in other words, draping black cloth over the entire ground floor and stairs of One London Bridge, from where the funeral procession started its sad and solemn journey)

Use of 16 double silver’d sconces and Wax Lights for ditto

2 Porters with Gowns and Staves with Silk cover & hats & gloves

The best Pall

There then follow a few items which are hard to decipher. What looks like:

A coffin lid of black feathers and man in hatband and gloves

Crape hatbands

Silk ditto

Rich three quarter Armageen (?) scarves for a Minister

12 Pairs of Men’s laced kid gloves

2 Pairs of Women’s ditto

6 Pairs of Men’s and Women’s plain and one pair Mitts

Use of 11 Gent Cloaks

A Hearse and 4 coaches with Setts of horses

Velvet Coverings and black feathers for hearse and six

10 Hearse pages with truncheons , 6 of ye bearers

10 Pairs of gloves and favours for ditto

Eight coach pages with Hatbands and gloves

Use of 5 Coachmans cloaks

10 pairs of gloves for ditto and Postillion

Paid at Bunhill for opening the Vault and for Tent

Fetch and carrying Company

Turnpike and drink for the Men

A total of £51/8/6 which you would need to multiply by perhaps seventy to give a modern-day equivalent i.e £3500 or $5250

It must have made a sombre and imposing sight as the funeral cortege wended its way north of the Hall household on its one mile journey to the graveside. As Richard noted in his diary that night, it had been “a very damp day, some part Foggy, not very Cold” You can almost see the black horses with their black plumes, attended by page boys dressed from tip to toe in black, the heavy coats of the pall bearers, the coffin lined with black velvet….

The best funeral potatoes in Utah

Congratulations, Laurie Willberg, from the hurriedly assembled team here at the GFG-Batesville Shard. Well done!

Laurie, dear reader, is the winner of Utah’s Own Funeral Potato at the Utah State Fair. Her funeral potatoes were the best in show. 

Funeral potatoes are unknown in the UK but de rigueur at US funerals where  the need for comfort/consolation food after the obsequies is better understood.

Americans don’t devour funeral potatoes only after funerals, they eat them whenever the mood takes them. Probably not ideal for someone watching their weight, but ideal for throwing down the hatch of a teenage boy. 

 For your delectation: 

Southwest funeral potatoes (with Utah ingredients)

8 medium Russet potatoes

1/2 teaspoons sea salt (Redmond brand)

1 cup dry potato soup mix (Sawyer’s Premium)

2 cups water, boiling

1 cup low fat buttermilk (Meadow Gold)

1 cup sour cream (Meadow Gold)

2 cups grated jalapeno jack cheese (Banquet brand)

1/2 teaspoon sea salt (Redmond brand)

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

11/2 cup crushed yellow corn tortilla chips (Don Julio brand)

1 cup grated cheddar cheese (Banquet brand)

1 jar black bean and corn salsa (Laurie’s Buffalo Gourmet)

Wash and scrub potatoes under cool water, place in a pot with enough water to generously cover. Add 1/2 teaspoons salt. Bring to a boil. Cook 30 minutes or until tender, but not soft. Remove potatoes from pot and place in a colander. Run cold water over potatoes to cool. When cool enough to handle, peel and dice into 1/2 inch cubes. Place in a large mixing bowl.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9-by-13-inch pan with non-stick cooking spray.

Place potato soup mix in a medium mixing bowl. Cover with boiling water, then whisk until smooth. Add buttermilk, sour cream, jalpeno jack cheese, salt and pepper. Stir to combine. Pour mixture over diced potatoes and stir gently until the potatoes are coated. Pour into prepared baking pan.

Place corn chips in a resealable plastic bag and crush. Combine crushed chips with grated cheddar cheese. Sprinkle chip/cheese mixture over the top of the potatoes in the bake pan. Bake uncovered 45 minutes or until bubbly and cheese is slightly brown.

Remove from oven and cool slightly. Serve with salsa.

Serves 8 to 10

Source

Dig it shallow. They don’t.

Filming the Good Funeral Awards with Sharp Jack Media, the production company making the documentary for Sky, entailed going all over the country to shoot people in action and get their backstories. It was fun. Perhaps the most fun was watching the crew on ‘just another job’ become emotionally enmeshed by the loveliness of the people they met. It was a life-changing process for them.

It was also exhausting and, from time to time, nailbiting.

Perhaps the nailbitingest moment came as they filmed a funeral in Devon followed by burial in Bidwell Woodland Burial Ground, a lovely place where you have to tote the coffin a good way to the grave. It’s hard work just trudging after it.

All went well at the outset. The funeral was in a village hall and it reduced one of the crew to tears even though it wasn’t an especially sad funeral because it was for a very old man who had led an incredibly rich and generous life. We set out for the burial ground in bright sunshine. It was a timeless sight.

The nailbiting bit came after the coffin had been lowered and it became evident that there was just a little over a foot between the top of the coffin and the surface. Local authority rules (not the law) prescribe a minimum of 2’ 6”, or 2’ where soil conditions allow. I had to have urgent discussions to determine whether it was wise, politic and in everyone’s best interests to film this. There could be protests and all sorts from them as knows best.

All agreed that it should be filmed. The owner of the burial ground, the richly characterful, serenely resolute and intelligent Andrew Lithgow, knows his law and believes that human burial must make good environmental sense. You don’t get the customary dark, cold, inert six feet under at Bidwell, you go back to nature usefully.

What about foxes, badgers, all sorts of foragers digging up the body? That’s what they all say happens, everybody says it. What do you do about that?

They don’t. As Andrew has it, why in heaven’s name would they want to dig up dead bodies? They’ve far better, fresher things to eat.

Another graveyard myth. So good to have that one knocked on the head. Burial depth in natural burial grounds has been, let’s confess it, a bit of an obsession here at the GFG. We are at rest now, enjoying our favourite song.

Keep calm and do the science

Well-meaning ignorance fuels lots of heated debate in Funeralworld. Broadsides of stats are exchanged, but how many of them are verifiable? In one thing we can trust: probably no one’s yet done the science. 

Take the following press release from the respected news agency Reuters: 

Globally, cremation emits over 6.8 million metric tonnes of carbon dioxide every year, accounting for around 0.02 percent of world carbon dioxide emissions, experts estimate.

Typical. Authoritative-sounding stats undermined by the last two words. Substitute ‘some people guess’. 

What follows, though, will interest those who have been following the freeze-dry saga and its two players, promession and its successor, cryomation. We’ve always been fans of the Cryomation people here at the GFG.

Suffolk-based Cryomation Ltd has developed a technology which freezes a body using liquid nitrogen until it is brittle, removes metal elements and turns the remains into a powder which could be composted, buried in a natural graveyard or scattered.

Having proven the technology, the firm is now seeking 1.5 million pounds to build the first unit.

We believe this to be correct.

“The cryomation process has been talked about for far too long but never been delivered,” said Paul Smith, business development manager at parent company IRTL.

Right, Paul. Yes, we can read between the lines!

“Our technology (..) can remove moisture at a cost-effective rate and at a suitable speed to make it a viable alternative to cremation with lots of environmental benefits,” he added.

Excellent. And the first part of the next sentence certainly rings true:

A report last year by Dutch research group TMO said resomation and cryomation had the lowest environmental impact of all funeral methods and burial had the highest.

What?!? Burial’s the worst of the lot??

Indeed, burial is not a “green” option. It takes up space underground, the decaying process emits the greenhouse gas methane and caskets use a lot of steel, copper, bronze or wood.

Think what we could do with all that underground space. As for methane, is this, someone please tell us, a graveyard myth? If it’s a myth it certainly once had me fooled but I think, am I right? that it’s been exploded. Does it actually pose any risk at all? If it does, the solution lies in ensuring that buried dead people enjoy aerobic decomposition by burying them nearer the surface. As for caskets, well, we needn’t bother ourselves with them, we’re mostly good ole toe-pincher people over here. 

The effect of formaldehyde-based embalming chemicals when they leak into the soil and air through burial is also thought to be potentially damaging but needs more research.

Thought to be, eh? We’ll wait for them to finish their ‘more research’ if you don’t mind. Uttering hunches while they’re at it rather negates the point of doing it, yes? Surely it can’t be that flipping difficult to discover what happens to formaldehyde when it seeps into the earth. 

If any reader can help us out with some verifiable facts in these areas, you’ll be doing us all a great kindness. 

Full story here