Fran Hall – Page 22 – The Good Funeral Guide

Whatever.

15 September 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: Uncategorised

Life Death Whatever festival

As if bringing you the #DeathOscars, the Good Funeral Awards, wasn’t quite enough for 2016, we’ve got a few more treats in store for you.

In partnership with the National Trust, as part of Life. Death. Whatever. – a month long festival celebrating life, death and everything in between – we’re bringing you a series of GFG events, talks and workshops as well as an entire weekend showcasing the best of the UK funeral industry.

Our impressive venue, Sutton House, is the oldest residence in east London. It features medieval foundations, a Tudor kitchen, Jacobean and Georgian interiors, an Edwardian chapel, 80s graffiti under the roof and an urban oasis with an edible garden.

Throughout October, this is what we’ve got planned.

The Good Funeral Guild Launch Party
Tuesday October 4th
Sutton House, Hackney, London
Funeralworld is having a party to celebrate the launch of The Good Funeral Guild. Whatever your interest in funerals, come along to drink deathly cocktails, see the Life. Death. Whatever. exhibition after hours and meet the people who are the change the funeral industry has been waiting for (readers, that’s you).
RSVP here.

The Good Funeral Guild Presents… Funeral Tuesdays – So You Want To Work In The #DeathBiz
Tuesday October 11th
Sutton House, Hackney, London
So you want to work in the #DeathBiz? Or maybe you want to find out about other roles within funeral service? Join the Good Funeral Guild to hear from a fascinating panel of people who work in all aspects of funeral service. From mortuary technicians, funeral directors, natural burial ground managers and crematorium superintendents to Funeralworld CEOs.

The Good Funeral Guild Presents…The Good Funeral Weekender
Saturday October 15th, Sunday October 16th
Sutton House, Hackney, London
The Good Funeral Weekender will showcase the best of the UK funeral industry in the stunning Great Chamber and Wenlock Barn of Sutton House. The visiting public will be able to explore the Life. Death. Whatever. exhibition as well as exploring what Funeralworld has to offer.
If you’d like to exhibit during the Good Funeral Weekender, please contact louise.winter@goodfuneralguide.co.uk ASAP.

The Good Funeral Guild Presents… Funeral Tuesdays – Creative Ceremonies
Tuesday October 18th
Sutton House, Hackney, London
Here at the GFG, we’re not only concerned with the hardware of funerals. The software – the service – is just as important. Standards are improving (and they need to!) as public perceptions begin to change. Learn how to put together a creative funeral ceremony with the help of the UK’s best and most progressive ceremonialists and celebrants. Featuring Tiu de Haan, Emma Curtis of Extraordinary Ceremonies, Isabel Russo from the British Humanist Association and Good Funeral Award winning minister Reverend Canon Gill Behenna. There’ll be plenty of time for debate and discussion.

The Good Funeral Guild Presents… Funeral Tuesdays – The Natural Death Movement
Tuesday October 25th
Sutton House, Hackney, London
Everything you ever wanted to know about the Natural Death Movement in the UK. Special guests TBA.

The rest of the month is filled with an eclectic lineup of events, workshops and talks including fashion meets death film screenings, Sylvia Plath book clubs, Death Cafes by the founder Jon Underwood, a Harold & Maude Extravaganza, therapy dogs and pat cats and a life affirming herbal supper club. See the schedule here.

The exhibition, which has been curated by death doula Anna Lyons, features work by Laura Ford, Claudia Bicen, Philip Eglin, Stella Vine, Kate Linforth, French & Mottershead, Nick Potter, Chairman Kato & many more.

There will also be an interactive Coffin Playroom, a Life. Death. Whatever. grave by our friends at Stoneletters and a bar serving deathly cocktails in the Tudor Kitchen.

We promise cocktails, cake, tea and tears.

Phew!

www.lifedeathwhatever.com

Celebrant of the Year

14 September 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: celebrants, Good Funeral Awards

02-stevie-glover-celebrant

Stevie Glover

From a huge field of contenders for this award, this year’s Celebrant of the Year was chosen for her genuine likeability as well as her exceptional professionalism.

Highly regarded by fellow deathcare staff and affectionately referred to in the testimonials from families she has helped, Stevie’s caring support up to and throughout the funeral is matched only by the unassuming way she slips out of the door when her job is done. It’s not her style to accept any gratitude or thanks shaking hands afterwards, she believes the attention should be for the gathered grieving family.

Unflappable, smart, articulate and with crystal clear delivery, she has the rare ability to produce a bespoke service for each family without cutting and pasting from other ceremonies and is described by funeral directors as serene, calming, soothing and gentle in her presentation.

One funeral director told her that if a particular family’s request for her to use bad language in the ceremony was too much, he would turn the job down rather than cause her any distress. She didn’t mind, she had spent years editing ‘arse’ jokes in her previous job.

Stevie worked as production manager for Viz magazine for 20 years until she was made redundant in 2012 when she was in her fifties. Her relationship with Viz magazine dates from 1992 when she starred in a photo story alongside Harry Enfield. She said “I think they kept me on so long because I could spell diarrhoea and they couldn’t.”

Finding herself redundant in her fifties, Stevie’s first thought was to train as a funeral director “because I like making things right for people and I’m not too squeamish.” Instead she trained as a funeral celebrant – and never looked back: “At the beginning, I thought the funeral directors were saving the best families for me, because they were all so lovely. I don’t know if it’s that people in extreme situations behave well, but they tell me such wonderful stories about the departed that my only regret is I can’t meet them. I’d love to have a cup of tea with them!”

Stevie attends Sunday Assembly in Newcastle where she recently gave an address on death.

Stevie has no idea who nominated her for this award.

Runners Up: Rosalie Kuyvenhoven and Pat Winslow

The judges also gave special thanks to Diana Gould for her pioneering work with baby funerals over many years.

Minister of the Year

13 September 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: Christian belief, Good Funeral Awards, Religious funerals

01-revd-gill-behenna-minister

Reverend Canon Gill Behenna, Chaplain among Deaf people in the Diocese of Bristol

Why did Gill win?

‘The winner of this category was chosen for her outstanding and ground-breaking contribution to the funeral experience of Deaf people.

When a member of the Deaf Community passes away, their funeral is often a large event, huge gatherings of Deaf people traveling from all across the country, Deaf and hearing family and friends coming together in fellowship, to mourn a loss, to celebrate a life, to console and be consoled. A funeral for a Deaf person is a cross-culture event spanning two languages and requiring specific pastoral skills.

This year’s winner works hard to ensure the final goodbye to a member of the Deaf community is accessible to all, that all who come may find a funeral service which meets their needs, allows them to grieve without the distraction of whether they will be able to understand the words of the service for their loved one.

Her desire to ensure everyone feels welcomed, is understood and plays their part in the goodbye is so very important, and the fact that both hearing and Deaf can communicate freely and naturally in their own languages with the minister allows for pastoral care to be truly accessible.’

Runner up in this category: Reverend Kate Bottley. Of Gogglebox fame.

The afterglow of the Good Funeral Awards

13 September 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: alternative funerals, funeral trends, Good Funeral Awards, perceptions of funeral directors, Religious funerals, Secular approaches to death, The future of funerals

partying-vicars

The verdict? It was a good day out!

The partying vicars above certainly looked like they were enjoying themselves.

There are likely to be a lot of local news stories appearing round the country as the winners of a Good Funeral Award 2016 celebrate their recognition by their peers, and Christopher Hooton from The Independent definitely got it – read the full article here .

We’ll share any other articles as they arrive, but in the meantime we thought we’d feature each of the winners on a daily basis in posts on the blog, along with the reasons why the judges felt they deserved to win.

I can’t afford to die so now I sell coffins on Norwich Market

12 September 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: coffins, funeral cost, funeral reformers, funeral trends

Guest post by Ruth Phelps of www.borca.co.uk

I opened my stall on Norwich Market in January 2016 and stock sustainably-resourced willow, green ash and rush baskets from household laundry baskets to bike and log and picnic hampers and much more. I additionally stock Fairtrade baskets from Palestine and seek to expand Fairtrade products.

Three months ago, in one of those middle-of-the-night mad idea moments, I decided to sell willow bio-degradable coffins direct to the public. It was an experiment. I decorated with flowers and displayed a big 6’ 6” willow coffin outside my stall.

I wasn’t sure what to expect but hundreds of people from all over the country as well as overseas and locals have stopped to congratulate me on selling coffins in a very visible way and attracted by the price which undercuts Funeral Directors’ charges for something similar by hundreds of pounds. Most of the public, like me, also see the coffin on display as a mechanism to de-stigmatise a topic many are uncomfortable discussing and promote that discourse. The local BBC & Mustard TV came to film and I was featured in the Eastern Daily Press. BBC Radio Norfolk tell me that nearly 17,000 had accessed the feature on their Facebook page within a few days.

Sales are going well with half of my customers buying a coffin to store or to give to family to store and/or make into funky furniture in the meantime. The coffins are being turned into coffee tables, wardrobes and shelving units. My favourite idea is to use one as a wine-storage cupboard.

All the coffins meet the criteria for crematorium, natural and traditional cemeteries in the UK and are environmentally friendly and sustainable products. Of course, many willow, bamboo, seagrass and cardboard coffins are also available on the internet but many with few guarantees. I’ve found that people like to see what they are buying, can see the quality and are assured of a very competitive price from a supplier they know.

We live in a time where a death pre-payment plan is considered the norm; where folk get into debt to see a loved one off at a very vulnerable time of their lives. We live in a time where the only avenue seen by many for saying ‘good-bye’ is through the services of a funeral director and the costs keep spiralling up and up. Who can afford to die?

Whilst there will always be a demand for the usually excellent and sensitive services of a Funeral Director, increasingly people are objecting to the steep costs and are looking at DIY alternatives for all or part of the process. Environmentally, bio-degradable coffins and caskets make complete sense and natural burial sites are more and more popular although cremation still remains the cheaper option. Additionally, many people have said to me that they feel more in control and like choosing a coffin themselves in advance of the inevitable.

Some will donate their bodies to science and who knows how the disposal of bodies will be managed in future decades. But with a shortage of land and the planet in such peril from man-made global warming, a bio-degradable coffin at a more affordable fair price seems a small step in the right direction.

Wise words

10 September 2016

Fran Hall

8 Comments

Categories: alternative funerals, Arranging a funeral, Attitudes to death, Burnout, Children and funerals, death and funerals, Death education, Etiquette, Formality vs informality, funeral, funeral directors, funeral reformers, funeral trends, Good Funeral Awards, home funerals, independent funeral directors, Natural Death Centre, perceptions of funeral directors, The future of funerals, traditional funerals, uber undertakers

ru-callender

Ru’s opening words to the assembled guests struck a chord with many who were there, so we thought we’d put them on the blog for the whole world to read. Over to you Rupert.

“Welcome everyone to the Good Funeral Awards 2016!

It started off, as so many good things do, in a sweaty basement in Bournemouth, and has grown into this glamorous Metropolitan lunchtime bunfight.

My name is Ru Callender and I should be standing here with my wife, Claire – sadly, she’s got flu. Together, we run The Green Funeral Company in Devon, and we used to be the Enfants Terrible of the undertaking world. Self taught, stubborn, scruffy, we still use our family Volvo instead of a hearse – but as we’ve been doing it for 17 years, we’re probably just terrible…

Today is a genuinely unusual mélange of the alternative and the conventional funeral world, and it has probably taken longer than the Good Friday agreement took to get everyone in the same room.

You are here because someone thinks you’re great. Let that sink in.

Even if you asked them to.

This gathering is largely due to Charles Cowling and crew of the Good Funeral Guide, and also to the original renegade masters, the Natural Death Centre, both of whose organisations dared to believe that ordinary people could deal with the gritty detail of death, the truth about what happens to our bodies, that a deep, internal understanding of death is part of our birthright, part and parcel of being human.

And what they did – brace yourself, maybe have a glug of wine to steady yourself here, was to treat the public as adults, to include them in a conversation about the one thing that will happen to each and every one of us.

They presumed, as we all should, that people can handle more than the protective narrative that is fed to them.

They were right.

It was thought wildly radical then, now it just seems honest and transparent.

I said funeral world because I refuse to use the word industry. Making computers is an industry. Fashion is an industry. Even getting fit is an industry. I don’t decry industry. It’s necessary.

But death is a true mystery, and working with it should be a vocation, a real calling, and if you’re not meant to be here, if ego, or an understandable search for meaning in your life has misled you here, then death has a way of calling your bluff. You are either initiated, in or out.

This work, the real work of dealing with death and loss is not glamorous, however closely it nearly rhymes with sex, however interesting it makes us appear to those who unfortunately have to work in jobs they hate to pay the bills, and that matter little.

This work, done properly, is incredibly stressful.

It’s exhausting, frightening, physically, emotionally and existentially challenging, but it is also deeply, deeply rewarding.

Burn out is a real risk, or worse, an unconscious hardening of your outer emotional skin – these are the risks you face depending on whether you fully engage with it or not.

Breakdown or bravado. Truly a metaphor for our times.

So, if you work with death – florist, celebrant, undertaker or chaplain, particularly if you are new to it, you really have to let it in.

Go deeper.

Feel it. Fear it. Don’t pretend to love it , because the only thing worse than death is not death – and then, if you can, let it go.

This world is also open to all.

Undertaking is completely unregulated, and should remain so in my opinion, not just because no amount of qualifications can teach you what to say to the mother of a dead child, that is an instinctive language that rises unbidden from the heart, but also because we are all amateurs when staring into the abyss, all professionals when faced with a dead body.

And they are OUR dead, yours and mine. We are all funeral directors eventually.

It is a shared mystery and your guess as to what it means, and your actions as to what to do are as valid as mine, or the Church, or the Humanists.

Nobody knows for sure.

The mechanics of what needs to be done are easy, I promise. Keep bodies cold. Put them in a suitable receptacle. Carry them, bury or burn them.

The rest, the words, the rituals, the how we do this, you KNOW, deep down what is right for you. You know.

But here I am, bringing you all down at a funeral award convention – I should get a prize for that!

But just indulge me one last time before we start bringing on the champs, and this celebration of the real change that has happened gets underway –

Euphemisms.

They cover the kitchen floor of bereavement like a spilled cat litter tray.

They protect no-one, they fool no-one, they confuse children. They are well meaning, but they are wrong.

I’m only going to take on one here, and I apologise if anyone has to amend their speech or their website as a result.

Loved ones.

Not everyone is loved, some because they have led sad, lonely lives, others because they did bad things.

They die too. They need funerals and their families are broken, and the depth of their pain makes the phrase ‘Loved one’ seem like a jeer.

Just saying.

So call them the dead, the dead one, the dead person, anything other than ‘loved one’. Call them by their name!

I know it’s awkward, but it will spare you the look of contempt you get when you say it to the wrong person.

Lecture over.”

The Winners

8 September 2016

Fran Hall

1 Comment

Categories: Uncategorised

gfawards-2016-winner-877x620

And here they are – after hundreds of entries and hours of deliberation by the judges, the winners of this year’s Good Funeral Awards have been named and honoured at the fabulous ceremony at Porchester Hall today.

Most of the well deserving winners were there to receive their awards from former GMTV host Penny Smith at the event with more than 250 people attending to applaud their friends and colleagues.

Unprecedented interest from the media and guests including representatives from both major trade organisations has confirmed that the Good Funeral Awards are now something to be taken seriously – funerals are changing, the unsung heroes are being appreciated, and the best party in funeralworld takes place every September!

If you missed out this time round, nominations for next year’s awards open in April 2017…

With thanks to our main sponsor Funeralbooker, all the category sponsors, and everyone who worked so hard to make the day such a brilliant success, from all the team at the Good Funeral Awards, we would like to congratulate the 2016 winners.

The Winners

Minister of the year

Revd. Canon Gill Behenna Chaplain among Deaf People in the Diocese of Bristol

Celebrant of the Year (sponsored by Civil Ceremonies Ltd)

Stevie Glover

Embalmer of the Year

Andy Holder

Coffin Supplier of the Year (sponsored by Ecoffins)

Musgrove Willows

Florist of the Year

Debbie Western Flowers

Gravedigger of the Year

David Homer of D. T. H. Burial & Churchyard Services

Cemetery of the Year

Gardens of Peace Muslim Cemetery

Crematorium of the Year (sponsored by Scattering Ashes)

Thornhill Crematorium, Cardiff

Best Internet Bereavement Resource

Muchloved

Best Funeral Caterer

Claret Catering

Best Alternative to a Hearse

Respect Bentley

Best Green Funeral Product

Brahms Electric Hearse

Most Significant Contribution to the Understanding of Death (sponsored by Final Fling)

Tamworth Co-operative Funeral service

Best Maker of Hand Carved Memorials in an Indigenous Material

Stoneletters

Low Cost Funeral Provider of the Year

Coulbert Family Funerals

Green Funeral Director of the Year (sponsored by The Association of Green Funeral Directors)

Higher Ground Family Funerals

Funeral Arranger of the Year

Sarah Lee of Holmes & Family Funeral Directors

Most Promising New Funeral Director (sponsored by The Church of England)

Judith Dandy of Dandelion Farewells

Modern Funeral Director of the Year (sponsored by The Natural Death Centre)

A Natural Undertaking

Traditional Funeral Director of the Year (sponsored by A. R. Adams Funeral Directors)

Trevor E. W. Hickton Ltd.

Most Innovative Death Public Engagement Event 2016

Bristol Culture

Mortuary Assistant of the Year (APT)

Louise Milligan at Stockport NHS Foundation Trust

Crematorium Assistant of the Year

Steve Biggs at Mortlake Crematorium

Bridging the Gap Award

Special award for the industry supplier doing most to move the funeral business forward:

Julian Atkinson of J. C. Atkinson

Lifetime Achievement Award (sponsored by Paula Rainey Crofts)

Nicholas Albery (posthumously) & the Natural Death Centre Charity.

Going for Guild

22 August 2016

Fran Hall

4 Comments

Categories: death and funerals, funeral, Good Funeral Guild, The future of funerals

Hot on the heels of the unprecedented British medal success at the Rio Olympics, we think we have found a way of keeping the golden feel-good feeling going.

Over the last fortnight, like the rest of the nation, at GFG Towers we have felt the camaraderie of sharing the joy of the British athletes as they reaped the rewards of years of hard work and dedication.

The morning after the closing ceremony, with no more ecstatic TV coverage of medal ceremonies, we bring you an opportunity to feel again that warm glow of belonging.

We are delighted to announce the arrival of The Good Funeral Guild.

Let’s get connected!

Access All Areas

20 August 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: Uncategorised

The shiniest fridge we've seen in quite some time. — *The shiniest fridge we’ve seen in quite some time.*

Fridges & Funeral Horses
“Come see my Daddy’s shop,” exclaimed Aoife, aged five and dressed in the loveliest summer dress, as she pulled her little friends through the front door and headed straight for the embalming room.

It was Access All Areas today for the launch of Don O’Dwyer’s lovely new funeral home in Acton, West London. We had accredited O’Dwyer Funeral Directors as one of only six funeral directors in London with the official GFG seal of approval before he’d even officially launched.

“There’s absolutely nothing to hide here,” Don told me, as curious members of the community had a look around his new funeral premises, taking a peek inside the (brand new and empty!) fridge as they enjoyed coffee, cake and champagne and chatted to Don’s family.

The ever lovely funeral horses put in an appearance, as did local MP Rupa Huq, who was shocked to discover that the UK funeral industry is entirely unregulated, but was pleased to hear that the Good Funeral Guide is hard at work telling the public about the the good guys like Don. One of the two Chapels of Rest was blessed by the local Catholic priest, and celebrant and funeral director Rob from Crumpton Rudd funerals conducted a mini service, funeral style, to celebrate.

Don's 1983 Daimler hearse. — *Don’s graceful 1983 Daimler hearse.*

O Dwyer's GFG Recommendation proudly on show — *O Dwyer’s GFG Recommendation proudly on show*

In other news…
There hasn’t been much, if any, good news from the world of crematoria recently. Back in July, we exposed the appalling state of West London Crematorium. We’re still awaiting comment from the General Cemetery Company, who have yet to get out the hoover and clean up the mess, according to our well-placed sources.

We’ve also had a run-in with a crematorium who refused to allow mourners their choice of music during an early morning contract funeral. ‘Crem choice’ seems to mean no choice in a certain borough just west of London.

So it’s been refreshing to see a spirit of friendliness, openness and transparency being embraced at Mortlake Crematorium. It’s undergoing a spring clean and a lick of paint in preparation for taking part in Open House London in September. Superintendent Natasha Bradshaw promises it will be Access All Areas for members of the public to not only enjoy the 1930s art deco building, but also to see what happens behind that mysterious curtain.

It’s wonderful to see the good guys of the funeral industry like O Dwyer’s Don and Mortlake’s Superintendent Natasha Bradshaw embracing openness and transparency and welcoming the often sceptical public through their doors.

There’s nothing to hide, after all.

The view from the catafalque at Mortlake Crematorium, taken by Steve Biggs — *The view from the catafalque at Mortlake Crematorium. Photograph taken by Steve Biggs*

Why Funeralbooker are backing the Good Funeral Awards

19 August 2016

Fran Hall

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Categories: Arranging a funeral, funeral, funeral directors, funeral trends

Funeralbooker at the Ideal Death Show

Guest post by Ian Strang and James Dunn, Directors of Funeralbooker

‘Dear all,

For those of you who haven’t come across Funeralbooker before, we are a website which helps connect people with the best funeral director for them.

When we decided to set up Funeralbooker and were researching the market, it was evident that the Good Funeral Guide provided the leading independent voice in the funeral community. We had spent countless hours scouring its blog for valuable insights into this new world – and so one of the first meetings we looked to set up was with its founder, Charles Cowling.

Heading down on the train to Weymouth, we felt slight trepidation over what type of character this Mr Cowling might be – perhaps a firebrand activist or maybe a dour auditor? Therefore, we were delighted to discover an incredibly amiable and engaging Charles, who escorted us to a local pub where we spent a very pleasant few hours in the sunshine discussing the industry. Tough market research indeed!

Since that time, we have continued to value Charles’s thoughts and input and have further strengthened our relationship with the GFG since the appointments of both Fran Hall and Louise De Winter.

In particular, we view several elements of the GFG’s ethos as mirroring ours:

• A relentless pursuit of what is best for customers – particularly through empowering them to make their own decisions
• Championing the great work done by the many outstanding funeral directors
• “Openness” to new ideas, innovation and change

We allow consumers to quickly and easily understand who the best funeral director is for them – using clear pricing entered by funeral directors themselves and reviews from actual customers who have used the platform.

For the funeral director, we provide a way to easily reach a whole new set of customers that they might not usually be able to serve. Before we launched, people who searched online would typically end up with the larger chain companies, and we can compete against that, increasing visibility for the smaller, independent funeral directors.

Last year, as wide-eyed newcomers, we attended the Ideal Death Show and Good Funeral Awards at the very last minute with only a hastily designed banner and some preliminary designs of what our website might look like when we had finished building it.

A year on and we return as proud sponsor of this event, with almost 500 funeral directors signed up with us and our website helping people connect with these great independents every day. These awards provide a fantastic way to celebrate all that is great within the funeral industry and sponsoring them is a very proud moment for us.’

To find out more about Funeralbooker visit their website here: funeralbooker.com/