Dead wrong
It was the nineteenth-century Liberal politician and prime minister Willim Ewart Gladstone who famously said “Show me the manner in which a nation or community cares for its dead, and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender sympathies of its peoples, their respect for the laws of the land and their loyalty to high ideals.” […]
ADRTs — who does and who doesn’t
From a letter in the New York Times: Older adults who do not formally convey their treatment preferences to loved ones create a distressing situation in which children and spouses must make emotionally draining (and costly) decisions about whether to continue or stop life-extending treatment. As Ms. Jacoby points out, one obstacle to planning is […]
Grave dressing at Easter
Posted by Vale On my way to the crematorium today I passed a family tidying a grave, clearing it after the winter and bringing fresh flowers for Easter. It reminded me of this description from the diary of Francis Kilvert. At the time of writing he was a curate at Clyro on the Welsh border […]
Three ways of talking to the dying
Virginia L Seno of the Esse Institute here proposes three ways of addressing a person who is dying. Here they are in stark outline: Ask the question,“What is most important to you right now?” Do what needs doing Be quiet and open-minded. Be present. Be available. Be willing to ask and hear and do. Read the […]
Cherry blossoms
Posted by Vale Blossom bursting from bare wood, old hearts crack open spring sunshine. There is something unlooked for in the pleasures of spring: light, warmth and the flush of blossom; a sudden generosity beyond expectation. Japan marks this annual marvel by holding blossom viewing parties. It’s part of a culture which reverences nature by […]
Spoilsport
My father told me that he attended a funeral in the parish of Tuosist, in South Kerry, at the turn of the century. As the coffin was being taken in a cart to the local graveyard at Kilmackillogue, three women keeners sat on top of it, howling and wailing at intervals. The parish priest, on […]
Victorian deathmyths
Here’s a collection of Victorian superstitions around death and funerals. Of course, everyone didn’t believe all of them but, even so, it’s remarkable (perhaps) how few have survived. If the deceased has lived a good life, flowers would bloom on his grave; but if he has been evil, only weeds would grow. If several deaths […]
People are still dying of old age. What are the damn medics doing about it?
Extracts from an excellent article in the Washington Post: I know where this phone call is going. I’m on the hospital wards, and a physician in the emergency room downstairs is talking to me about an elderly patient who needs to be admitted to the hospital. The patient is new to me, but the story is […]
Is Fear Killing Compassion for Older People?
Posted by Jon Underwood, founder of the Death Café project “In this case, ignorance is not bliss. With death, ignorance is fear.” Caitlin Doughty – The Order of the Good Death The UK Commission on Improving Dignity in Care chose the 29th of February to drop their bombshell in the form of a draft report on how to […]
They fit into a spread hand, yet reach into eternity
Posted by Rupert Callender, owner of The Green Funeral Company. As human beings, we look for meaning everywhere, superimposing it over everything that comes into our lives. The Australian aborigines believe that the world was vocalised into existence, literally sung into creation, and that the song needs to be continued so that reality can flourish. […]
