Best Burial Ground in the UK 2017

             Peter Taylor from Heatherley Wood

This category could so easily be about the best kept lawn cemetery, or the most attractive natural burial ground, but this year the judges were unanimously persuaded by the passion of the manager who entered for the award in choosing the winner.

Ultimately, it is the care and dedication of the people involved with a burial ground which gives it its character, and this entry demonstrates that even a small and relatively new site can shine when it is loved and cared for by someone who believes in it completely.

Here are the words that made this decision easy:

‘We are not the busiest of places yet, but our park is a reaching out to those made vulnerable through grief. I came here because I know the difference we can make, I know we can show the community here that you can have a good funeral, you can find a place that welcomes you back, that listens to you. We are not just about the funeral, we are about next week, next month, next year. Caring and supporting. When we lose that we become a cemetery.’

Winner:  Heatherley Wood, Greenacres

Runner Up: Eden Valley Woodland Burial Ground

 

Award photograph by Jayne Lloyd

The 2017 Good Funeral Awards were generously sponsored by Greenfield Creations

Cemetery of the Year

07-mohamed-omer-cemetery

Mohamed Omer from Gardens of Peace Muslim Cemetery

Against all the odds the Trustees of the Gardens of Peace have transformed wasteland into a beautiful and sustainable burial ground.

The story of the creation of the Gardens of Peace is one of gentle heroism.

The shortage of burial space in and around London is of great concern to many, and particularly to those faiths that forbid cremation.

The Garden of Peace Cemetery was originally a concept devised by a small group of people within the area that was able to identify an available piece of barren land and gain planning consent for a cemetery.

The small group enlisted others to form a Trust/registered charity and commenced the purchase of the land and its initial design. This was not without many problems in relation to the land itself being waterlogged, fly-tipped and in an appalling condition. A polluted stream also ran through the site.

There was also some local opposition and one instance of serious vandalism in the early days. Notwithstanding this the Trustees pressed on and were able to overcome these early difficulties. It should be noted that the Trustees sought no funding from the public purse and hence the project is a true community venture.

Donations were received from the community that enabled the laying out of the cemetery and the erection of buildings, all of which have strong environmental benefits, for example:

  • The buildings are constructed of natural timber and are as open as possible
  • The largest building roof has a green roof so that neighbours’ view is pleasant.
  • Buildings are clad to reduce noise.
  • Water is provided from a borehole.
  • Buildings are heated via solar panels.
  • Extensive landscaping to protect the green belt and wildlife and natural habitat
  • All the burials are conducted without the use of coffins.
  • Graves are covered with a sedum mat giving a natural country look rather than graves.
  • All the excess spoil is recycled using a soil grading machine
  • The once polluted stream that was void of any life at all received detailed attention to a point where plants and wildlife had re-established themselves. Unfortunately the stream was polluted by a business upstream, however the Trustees simply started again and restored the situation.

Recognising the need for support for Muslim Women who lose a child at any stage, Gardens of Peace set up Muslim Bereavement Support Service and work closely with all the national organisation as well as NHS so that spiritual bereavement support can be provided to mothers of the Muslim faith.

The Gardens are run entirely by volunteers headed by a lady Muslim GP.

Runner up in this category: Higher Ground Meadow

Keeping an eye on the costs

Hats off to independent funeral booking website Funeralbooker for publishing their findings on the costs of funeral disbursements.
 
Funeral poverty shows no sign of abating as new data reveals the most expensive crematoria and cemeteries in the UK
 
Key points:
 
THE COST OF DYING CONTINUES TO RISE.
 
NEW DATA REVEALS THE SOUTH OF ENGLAND IS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLACES TO BE CREMATED OR BURIED IN THE UK.
 
MASSIVE INCREASE IN COSTS YEAR ON YEAR ASSOCIATED WITH LOCAL AUTHORITY OWNED CREMATORIA AND CEMETERIES.
 
Beckenham in Kent; Crawley and Chichester in West Sussex; Leatherhead in Surrey and Nuneaton in Warwickshire all tie for first place as the locations of the most expensive crematoria in the UK – with cremation costing a staggering £956.
 
The cheapest place to be cremated in the UK is the City of Belfast Crematorium, where it costs just £364.
 
Prices are set by local councils for public facilities or by private companies, like Dignity PLC, for the privately owned  ones.
 
Around one third of the entire cost of a funeral is for cremation; around half if a burial is opted for.
 
They have collated the costs of every cemetery and crematorium for 2015 and 2016 and produced four data-sets with searchable maps.
 
When it comes to burial, London takes the top slot, with four cemeteries in Wandsworth all charging £4,561 apiece.
 
Northern Ireland again is the cheapest place in the UK to be buried.
 
There have also been massive, above-inflation rises in costs for both burial and cremation.  At Crownhill crematorium in Milton Keynes, prices have risen by 29.7%, year on year. The crematorium is owned by the local authority, as are the other crematoria on the list with the largest price rises.
 
It’s the same story when it comes to burials. North Watford Cemetery in London tops the list with prices increasing by 49.1% this year compared to 2015.
 
“Cuts in council funding may mean that many councils are turning to crematoriums and cemeteries to balance the books –  these price increases could be a hidden cost of austerity” said James Dunn, the co-founder of Funeralbooker.
 
 
FOR FULL DATA AND SEARCHABLE MAPS SEE:
 
 
2016 UK Burial Cost % increases from 2015
https://funeralbooker.com/resources/uk-burial-costs-rises-2016
 
 
2016 UK Cremation Cost % increases from 2015
https://funeralbooker.com/resources/uk-cremation-costs-rises-2016
 

Adopt a grave

Your average grave is visited for an average of around 15 years. After that, neglect can leave it looking unloved and anonymous, creating exactly the opposite effect to the one intended. There are those who see a cemetery as a monument to the vanity of human wishes. I’m one of them. Remembrance all too quickly passes into amnesia. Forever in our hearts? Who did you say you were exactly?

An exception to this rule is a military cemetery. Military folk maintain a hold on the hearts of the living longer than everyday heroes who die in civvies. Make what you want of that.

In Europe a number of American war cemeteries have an adopt-a-grave scheme. Local citizens, hundreds of them, adopt the grave of a dead soldier. They bring flowers and keep it looking tended. There are even waiting lists. More here.

Some 65 years ago Mrs Arpots (91) adopted the grave of British soldier Leonard Raymond Allison at the British War Cemetery in Brunssum. Still she is in good contact with the soldier’s family in the UK. “The mother of the soldier in particular was very grateful that we maintained the grave of her son. For us it was the least we could do after having been liberated.”

Just like Mrs. Arpots people from Brunssum have adopted a grave immediately following the liberation. They not only looked after the graves but also continued staying in touch with the family of the deceased soldier. Mrs. Arpots: “The family found it consoling and assuring that we maintained those graves for them. Leonard was their beloved son or brother. We have seen them frequently, and then they stayed with us or we stayed with them. We also received baby clothes and toys from them. We always had a very special relationship. I really enjoyed looking after the grave and maintain our relationship with the family.”

In the UK, Darwen has an adopt-a-grave scheme for its war dead, each grave marked by its Portland stone headstone. At Sutton Veny Primary School near Warminster, Wiltshire, pupils tend the graves of New Zealand and Australian soldiers in the local churchyard.

In Buxton, Derbyshire, an adopt-a-grave initiative was launched in 2011:

Mrs Luton said: “We had an open day and had to approach people with this odd idea of tending the grave of a stranger. “Eighteen people said yes on the day and more have joined since. We let them walk through the churchyard and choose a grave which appealed to them. “I don’t know how they chose but nobody wanted the same grave, it was incredible. “Many have wonderful details on the stones and there are a lot of children, and a lot of people have chosen children’s graves.”

In the same civvy spirit, James Norris of DeadSocial has just launched an Adopt a Grave initiative at Brompton cemetery. The idea is to enable Londoners to commune with death and nature at the same time as tidying up a bit:

Many of us do not visit green spaces on a regular basis due to a not owning a property with a garden and the environmental conditions in which we live. Due to the nature of urban cities we rarely get to ‘work on the land’ or immerse ourselves in an area of natural beauty. By granting participants permission to tend a currently untended, historic grave we hope that the natural relationship between participants, nature and death is addressed and somewhat rekindled.  We encourage those who adopt a grave to find out the story about the person whose grave they are tending. 

Love it.

Movie night at the cemetery

Guest post by Celebrant Wendy Coulton of Dragonfly Funerals

Tinseltown is not immune to the universal challenges cemeteries face generating a sustainable income to maintain the grounds and run its services.

It was reassuring to learn as a former director of a charitable trust which manages Ford Park Cemetery in Plymouth that the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles has also been saved from the brink of financial collapse and closure.  And the new owners have come up with innovative ways to get people through the gates to appreciate the cemetery as a heritage asset for all generations.

They have movie nights within the 60-acre grounds and kiosks with video tributes to people interred there.

I firmly believe that cemeteries must find such ways to make a connection with the living – to be relevant and resonate with people for different reasons – whether it is for the peace and green open space to reflect, the architecture and memorials or the abundant human interest stories. Cemeteries can capture the history, culture and individuality of a locality and its community just as well as any museum.

If you have a non-morbid love of cemeteries there is a name for us – Taphophiles.

Portrait of a deaf man

Posted by Vale

I was listening to a programme about the recordings John Betjeman made with Jim Parker, setting his verse to some glorious music.

Until they played this, though, I’d forgotten how dark Betjeman could be.

On A Portrait Of A Deaf Man

The kind old face, the egg-shaped head,
The tie, discretely loud,
The loosely fitting shooting clothes,
A closely fitting shroud.

He liked old city dining rooms,
Potatoes in their skin,
But now his mouth is wide to let
The London clay come in.

He took me on long silent walks
In country lanes when young.
He knew the names of ev’ry bird
But not the song it sung.

And when he could not hear me speak
He smiled and looked so wise
That now I do not like to think
Of maggots in his eyes.

He liked the rain-washed Cornish air
And smell of ploughed-up soil,
He liked a landscape big and bare
And painted it in oil.

But least of all he liked that place
Which hangs on Highgate Hill
Of soaked Carrara-covered earth
For Londoners to fill.

He would have liked to say goodbye,
Shake hands with many friends,
In Highgate now his finger-bones
Stick through his finger-ends.

You, God, who treat him thus and thus,
Say “Save his soul and pray.”
You ask me to believe You and
I only see decay.

This, I realise is number three in my very occasional series of tributes to fathers – the ‘Old Deaf Man – is certainly Betjemn senior. See numbers 1 (Horace Silver) and 2 (Astor Piazolla) here and here.

All blood runs red

“By all means have memorials. Make them out of Government stone if you like. Make them uniform. But you have no right to employ, in making these memorials, the bodies of other people’s relatives. It is not decent, it is not reasonable, it is not right.”

“When the widows and mothers of our dead go out to France to visit the graves they will expect to find that equal honour has been paid to all who have made the same sacrifice and this result cannot be attained if differences … are allowed in the character and design of the memorials.”

The words in the first quote were spoken by Viscount Woolmer in a parliamentary debate in 1920. He spoke for many  — but by no means all — parents of dead soldiers who either wanted their sons home, buried in the village churchyard, or commemorated more fittingly, in accordance with their beliefs and values, where they lay. By what right did the British Army commandeer their bodies and prescribe their memorials?

The words in the second quote were issued by the Trades Union Congress and reflect the growing democratic values of the time.

Today, most people, probably, regard the cemeteries for the dead of World War 1 as oases of peace and serenity, the antithesis of the horror and brutality that spawned them — beauty born of ugliness, a marvellous creation. Far from being impersonal in their uniformity and scale, you may feel, they are poignantly respectful of each and every person they commemorate.

But you can see what brought Woolmer to his feet.  And he had a case. The dead, in law, belong to their families, not the state.

The story of what we now know as the Commonwealth War Graves  is told in the book Empires of the Dead by David Crane – a good read.  The British Empire war cemeteries were the achievement of one man, Fabian Ware, pictured below, whose name, today, is almost entirely forgotten. For a man who dedicated his life to ensuring that the dead would be forever remembered, that’s quite an irony.

Ware was an imperialist. Today, his political philosophy looks as authoritarian as it does democratic. The life of man, he believed, is a constant struggle between the pursuit of individualism and submission to the needs of the collective. But when push comes to shove “the individual is submerged in the family … the family in the nation … and so the nation … in the highest attainment of human collectivity the world has yet seen … the empire … So long as patriotism … is the controlling force … no sacrifice will be thought too great in the cause of unity.”

Freedom of the individual must be subordinated to the need for national unity.

For all his democratic values and dedication to the collective, Ware was never a committee man. This explains how he was able to get so much done. The Imperial War Graves Commission — now the Commonwealth War Graves Commission (CWGC) — was his creation and his fiefdom. His achievement was the product of a combination of tireless high-handedness and nimble diplomacy. Today, standing as his legacy, there are 23,000 CWGC cemeteries in 153 countries commemorating 1,700,000 men and women.

Repatriation of British soldiers was banned in 1915 because it was reckoned discriminatory – only the wealthy could afford to have their sons brought back. At the end of the war the French and Americans brought numbers of their dead home, but ne’er a Brit. Repatriation had never been the practice of the British, and indeed only became official policy in 2003.

British Army soldiers were buried as close as possible to where they fell, side by side, regardless of rank, generals next to privates, beneath identical headstones modelled not on Christian but on classical lines because, explained the guiding architect, Edwin Lutyens, “besides Christians of all denominations there will be Jews, Musselmens, Hindus and men of other creeds, their glorious names and their mortal bodies all equally deserving enduring record and seemly sepulture.”

Most people picture masses of crosses when asked to recall a 1st WW war cemetery. That would be the French and the Americans. There is, though, one cross in every Commonwealth War Graves Commission cemetery with more than 40 graves. Fabian Ware opposed this because he wanted the cemeteries to be inclusive of all faiths and none, but he was overruled on the grounds that the British Empire was a Christian empire. Hence the Cross of Sacrifice (below) often found together with Lutyens’ faith-neutral symbol, the Stone of Remembrance (above).

At the beginning of the war, no one had any inkling  of the scale of sacrifice of human life that was about to ensue. So gigantic did the task of interring the dead become, together with marking their graves and registering them, that the French briefly considered cremating their dead on a chain of funeral pyres. The British Army went into the war with no preparations for the decent burial of its dead. What resulted  owes everything to the vision and the hard work of one whose name also deserves to live for evermore: the forgotten Fabian Ware.

British Empire dead:
Buried in named graves : 587,989
Buried but not identifiable by name : 187,861
No known graves: 526,816,
Not buried at all : 338,955 (includes Royal Navy lost at sea)

In the words of an Armistice Day broadcast: “Imagine them moving in one long continuous column, four abreast. As the head of that column reaches the Cenotaph, the last four men would be at Durham.”

The last word in bucket lists

It was nice to have Ann Treneman write for us last week about the vital importance of specifying where you want your dust or ash to repose. 

But I’m afraid I’ve got a big problem with her book, Finding the Plot: 100 Graves to Visit Before You Die. Dang it, you pick it up for a gentle browse and you just can’t put the darn thing down. 

What it was, exactly, that originally impelled the parliamentary sketch-writer of The Times to become a leisure-time graveyard rabbit we don’t know because, of course, she cannot fully account for it. You understand as well as anyone that mortality exerts a mysterious gravitational pull on people in myriad ways. The way it tugs Ann is to inspire her to go graving. That’s what she calls it, graving. 

It wasn’t long before Ann discovered that there are already lots of books about famous graves out there — so what makes hers different? 

She sets out her criteria. Her hundred graves had to be eclectic, iconic, accessible and ‘not too depressing or upsetting … I was also wary of murder victims. This book is about lives, not deaths.’ She also set herself the task of visiting every single one of them, a journey that took her as far as the north coast of Scotland. No wonder the book took four years to write. Around half are in London because, ‘per square mile, London has the most interesting dead people of anywhere in the world.’

You’ll find, of course, that some of your favourites are missing. In place of them are some you never dreamed of. There’s the grave of Anthony Pratt, inventor of Cluedo, in Bromsgrove, and that of Dusty Springfield in Henley-on-Thames. There are three graves of people obsessed with big cats. At Malmesbury is that of Hannah Twynnoy, torn to pieces by a tiger. At Hampstead lies George Wombwell, his tomb topped by Nero, his pet lion. And at Abney park rests Frank C Bostock, lion tamer, who died of the flu. 

In short, there can be no quibbling with the rich variety of people Ann Treneman has chosen to commemorate. 

The best thing about the book, after its subjects, is the way it is written. Treneman writes with light-touch humour which moves easily to touching seriousness when describing, say, the graves of the Hancock family of Eyam, six little children’s headstones clustered round their father’s, victims of the Plague (pictured below). 

Yes, it’s a very good read. Hint strongly to your partner that you’d like it for Christmas — or surrender to temptation and buy it now. We give it five stars. 

Kemnal Park

We were unable to attend the opening of the new cemetery at Kemnal Park, and were sad about that. We’ve heard good things. Anyone been there? This is from their press release: 

London’s largest and most important burial development in the last 100 years officially opened its gates last week.  Having successfully completed a pilot phase, The Mayor of Bromley, Counsellor Ernest Noad was in attendance to cut the ceremonial ribbon.  With over 30,000 plots accompanied by memorial gardens for ashes, Kemnal Park is providing much needed burial space for Bromley and the surrounding boroughs.  

Michael Burke, Operations Director comments ‘For too long have we accepted that cemeteries are a place to be tolerated – that average standards are just what they are.  At Kemnal Park, we will go a long way to resolve the inner and outer city challenge of lack of burial space AND we will set new levels of expectations while doing so.  Aiming to focus on the celebration of life as much as the mourning of death and maintaining an environment to which families and friends look forward to returning to reflect on their loved ones.’

Grim (Reaper) up north

Posted by Richard Rawlinson

Manchester’s Southern Cemetery is the inspiration for Cemetery Gates by cheery northern pop combo The Smiths. It’s also the resting place of Man U manager Sir Matt Busby, Salford artist LS Lowry and Tony Wilson, founder of the Hacienda nightclub and Factory Records, which represented 1980s bands such as Joy Division.
The largest municipal cemetery in the UK, it opened in 1879 with four mortuary chapels for Anglicans, Nonconformists, Catholics and Jews. Only one is currently used for funeral services, the others remaining semi-derelict due to the decline in burials.

There are no plans to re-open them as deconsecrated chapels for secular funerals, even to alleviate the fast-turnaround cycle of Manchester Crematorium, opened in 1892 immediately adjacent to the cemetery. Even the oldest crematoria offer as legal mandatories lavatories and disabled access as well as waiting rooms, sound systems and the rest. It’s often too costly to bring back unused cemetery chapels to modern working standards.

Manchester Crematorium is a response to concerns about the living conditions of industrial workers in late-19th century Manchester. Its founders argued that acres of cemetery could be better used for housing to relieve overcrowding. Their campaign motto was ‘Save the Land for the Living’.

However much some of us like the idea of burial (woodland, grave recycling etc) and different venues for services, are we flogging a dead horse? Is the age of the multiplex crematorium/resomatorium here to stay, offering several chapels sharing the same disposal factories underneath? Is there any future for graves when space-efficient memorial walls allow for envelope-sized plaques ordered on a 10-year lease?

 Footnote: Joy Division’s Ian Curtis, who hanged himself aged 23 in 1980, is buried in Macclesfield.