Nice way to go

Congratulations to Linda Blakelock and Phil Beach, whose funeral home, Divine Departures, has, after much refurbishment, opened in Gateshead.

Linda is a refreshingly new presence in Funeralworld. She brings all the freshness of an outsider. Phil, on the other hand, is a seasoned professional of 16 years’ standing. 

It was a bad funeral which turned Linda, formerly Culture and Tourism officer with the Regional Development Agency, into an undertaker. She says:

Shortly before she died, Mam was looking at a funeral brochure and she said, ‘I don’t like anything that the funeral directors can offer me. I’ve worked all my life, brought five bairns up and I deserve better that this. I don’t want those four tatty bits of wood, I want something better. 

I didn’t know there was anything else available and we weren’t offered anything different. It actually broke my heart when I found out there were lots of alternatives out there to the standard coffin and she could have had something more fitting. 

What we do is new, bright and different. I want people to realise they have options and lots of choice. If you want a picture, wicker, or cardboard coffin and pallbearers dressed as Elvis Presley or as characters from Star Wars, we can arrange that for you.

We wish them every good fortune. 

Never knowingly upsold

It’s been very interesting getting out and about visiting new funeral directors who have applied to be accredited by the GFG. We spend several hours looking around, getting to know, asking questions. It’s quite different from a visit by a trade body, of course. We’re there to evaluate the consumer experience. We look out for stuff like coathooks on the back of the door of the ‘chapel of rest’. (We’ve yet to find any.)

If we like what we see and hear we review the funeral director on this website and give them a Recommended by the Good Funeral Guide sticker to wear on their window.

What’s especially struck us has been the individuality of the funeral directors we have visited. Each has a very distinct, often characterful, way of doing things.

Here’s an example. It’s from the contract which Richard Fearnley asks all his clients to sign.

Richard’s least expensive funeral is his Ruby funeral at £1397 including disbursements. Yes, really, £1397.

The contract begins:

I state that I have personally made the arrangements for the funeral of the above named deceased and now take full responsibility of all funeral expenses.

I have been informed about the ‘Ruby Plan’ available for for families with limited means/social security benefits, at a total cost of £1397 including the necessary disbursements for cremation.

My chosen plan is the ‘XXXX Plan and I have today received an estimate for £XXXX…

In this way, Richard’s clients can benchmark what they have chosen to spend against his lowest-cost funeral and remind themselves of the difference just before they sign.  

What a refreshing difference from upselling. 

Hands on funeral for homeless man

Undertaker Rupert Callender in Totnes is appealing to his fellow townspeople to turn out to help carry the coffin of a homeless man, Michael Gething, through the streets to his funeral — and then on to the burying ground at Follaton, just outside the town. 

Rupert Callender said: “The act of carrying his coffin all the way up the hill to Follaton Cemetery is quite a physical commitment, so we’re going to need the help of the townspeople. This is a simple way for people to come together and show respect and solidarity.”

Mr Gething died of hypothermia. He is the fourth homeless person to die in Totnes this year. 

The BBC report states that the purpose of the procession is to highlight homelessness. Knowing Rupert a little, I suppose that his purpose is actually to give Mr Gething a decent, respectful funeral, and to hold it where he lived. Inviting the people of Totnes to bear some of the burden would seem to be wholly appropriate. 

More

You are the referee

Here’s another pay-up-or-else story — true but anonymised and deliberately undated. 

A funeral director is refusing to hand over the ashes until the balance of the bill is settled — which it will be if the DSS claim is successful. 

Does he have the right to do this? 

You can’t arrest a corpse for debt because there is no property in a corpse. But what is the legal status of ashes? Are they property? This is something the 1902 Cremation Act didn’t think of, as we have seen in an earlier post. Briefly, they are and they aren’t. If they are, then the funeral director would seem to be justified in withholding them against payment. 

Except that the client’s contract, in terms of cremating the body, was with the crematorium, and the fee to the crematorium was a third-party payment paid in full by the funeral director on behalf of the client. The crematorium fulfilled its contract and presumably has the right to expect the funeral director, as the appointed collector of the ashes, to hand them over to its client. 

Other legal advice offered by solicitors in the locality favours the funeral director.

You are the referee. Is the funeral director legally and morally justified in his actions? 

(We don’t know.) 

Quote of the Day

“InvoCare has has seen little customer leakage.”

Invocare is the major consolidated player in the Australian funeral industry, which bears close comparison in may respects with the UK funeral industry though it also has a strong US flavour. 

Invocare ceo Andrew Smith says: “Most families don’t pick a funeral director based on price. Most will pick based on service.” In marketing terms this prompts the question: How do you transmit that message through your marketing materials?  Cutting prices is the easy way to go, you can get that across easily enough. But how do you communicate the quality of your service offer? 

Read more about Invocare here

Compassion fatigue

I vividly remember the first day my medical school classmates and I met our cadavers in the anatomy lab. Large body bags lay on metal tables that had been bolted to the floor. I remember the sheer size of the bags best. No doubt existed in my mind that dead human bodies indeed lay within them. And yet part of me couldn’t quite grasp that I was actually going to soon be unzipping them and cutting into flesh through which blood had once flowed as freely as it now did in mine.

Thus recalls Dr Alex Lickerman. He goes on: 

I vividly remember also a classmate of mine—one who’d struck me as being particularly sensitive to others—leaning against the wall at one point, looking pale and shaky. I remember worrying that she was going to faint. 

But she didn’t. And like the rest of us, soon she was cutting into her cadaver with focused precision. Within only one week we all had habituated to the notion that we were dissecting dead people as if they were only mannequins.

My classmate eventually went on to become my colleague, one with whom I’ve since shared many patients. And though technically she was always excellent, again and again it would get back to me from patients to whom I’d send her that she had a poor bedside manner. And whenever I’d hear this, I’d wonder: had she always been only peripherally interested in the suffering of others (as more than one of my patients judged her to be) or did she begin as empathetic and compassionate as I’d first judged her and simply have those characteristics pounded out of her by her training and subsequent years in practice?

As I read that, I wondered about the people we saw on that ITV programme about Gillman’s. Dr Lickerman continues:

Perhaps the most insidious force that gnaws away at our ability to feel compassion is habituation. We have an amazing ability to get used to things—meaning that if repeated again and again something which at first stimulates great emotion (positive or negative) progressively stimulates that emotion less and less. This is why, I think, over time my colleague’s bedside manner deteriorated: she simply got so used to the suffering she saw day in and day out that it ceased to trigger her compassion.

It all makes pretty good sense, doesn’t it? If we’re honest, we can see how people working in mortuaries could, first, lose their sense of dead people as people and then graduate to hating them. 

It put me in mind of a case which a number of people have drawn to my attention but which I did not write about because it seemed to me sad and, because unrepresentative, not all that informative. I may have been wrong. The case involved a funeral service operative (FSO) Grahame Lawler, who stole a purse from a dead woman he’d gone to collect. You can gauge why he did it when you consider what he said when he was arrested: “‘For six-and-a-half years I have been in this job and have seen some very vile nasty and horrible things. Decomposed bodies, people that have been run over, things like that. I saw the purse, I did take it and I thought it was the way out. I have never done anything like this before and I’m sorry.”

It also put me in mind of the funeral director I chatted to last week. The ethos of his business is mortuary-centred. “It all starts there and works its way thorough to everything else. Get it right in the mortuary and everyone else knows exactly what standard is expected and exactly how to conduct themselves to everyone else. It pervades the funeral home.”

Read the full Lickerman article here

ITV Exposure Responses FPL & NAFD

The following statement was read out after the Exposure programme 24.10.2012

‘Last month in ‘The British Way of Death’ Exposure went under cover in the funeral industry at Funeral Partners Limited revealing racism and disrespect of bodies and the bereaved.

 FPL who own the branches in Slough and Tooting, where we’d been filming, have apologised, five people have been sacked, one has resigned and a seventh is currently suspended.
The company says it’s investing in diversity training and will be improving facilities and equipment where needed.
They’ve also offered to reimburse fees paid by a widow who was shown being racially abused at her husband’s funeral.

The NAFD has said that “in the light of the Exposure programme it will begin a root and branch review of its code of practice.” ‘

 

Gamble on the future

The GFG sends its congratulations and very best wishes to Stroud funeral director Michael Gamble, his wife Clare and all of the team as they prepare for tomorrow’s ceremonial opening of their lovely new funeral home. There to do the honours and snip the tape will be… our own Richard Honeysett.