Tweets

This is the time of year when the Reaper takes a break and catches some rays, giving undertakers a chance to do housekeeping chores, and celebrants a chance to starve. There’s not a lot going on out there. I can’t begin to tell you what a quiet week it’s been. These are the best I could find. 

The thankless business of teaching funeral directors to be businesslike – http://on.ft.com/nJIxiN

Man heart-attacks while building funeral pyre for dead relative. Pragmatic solution: both burned together – http://bit.ly/nn1EHZ

“Old-school undertakers dictated funerals, the bereaved could only take it or leave it” Taiwan then and now. Lessons. http://bit.ly/qn7B3s

Pastor caught in bed with his brother’s wife claims “I went to fetch her so we could go to a funeral.” Fined 8 cattle. http://bit.ly/pL5zY8

A proper gypsy funeral. Undertakers dream of getting one of these. Who got this one? http://bit.ly/pxbtBp

‘FIELD TRIP: Day of Brains in Jars.’ Doncha just love the Morbid Anatomy blog? http://bit.ly/qPMffn

“Independent funeral homes thrilled cos big corp prices are driving consumers to independent FDs.” Ditto in the UK. http://bit.ly/petQ76

Proposed crem: “Imagine, at a cafe, you see a bunch of coffins burnt into the air.” Viva death in the community! http://bit.ly/pPhnaO

Rottweiler’s funeral pyre burns master’s house down –http://bit.ly/nGynCJ

Viking funeral replete with flaming arrows to honour those lost at sea – http://bit.ly/otF56l

They’ve been visiting the grave for 20 years, and now they’re told their mum isn’t actually there – http://bit.ly/p7bDqy

I’d love a copy of this – 600+ FDs financially analysed – market share, trends, industry averages. Tad pricey though –http://bit.ly/nlD8AK

Make up for what you lack with a PR stunt. Nice one, Co-op.http://bit.ly/pPzK4Q

Who says you can’t buy journalists? Dignity can –http://tgr.ph/p8CwKr

Dead guy alphabetised at his funeral – http://tinyurl.com/6aor3nc

Posted by Charles Cowling

What is the well dressed corpse wearing? Clothes which co-decompose: http://bit.ly/jOJlxm

Aussie undertakers strategise for the future. Better experience, better service. Full marks. http://bit.ly/m8t88b

Music therapy for the dying. Touching. http://nyti.ms/mzIjDW

Queenslanders urged to employ industry regulator to weed out “rouge [sic] or ‘cowboy’ operators.” http://bit.ly/leMNWF

From the US: “for-profit health chains are cynically exploiting this model to fill their own pockets.” Beware, UK! http://nyti.ms/lr4CW3

Check out Dignity’s projected price increase for funerals in the UK. Complete cobblers? http://tgr.ph/mJOZeo

Exploding funeral pyre injures 20 – http://bit.ly/jcDxnx

MakingAnExit Sarah Murray RT by GoodFunerals

When I’m dead and “green” – a look at the options for a more environmentally friendly exit: bit.ly/qnDsR1

Spend some time in the mind of an old-school undertaker. It may creep you out – http://tinyurl.com/6khd6ns

‘Abuse of a corpse.’ There’s such a ring to that. Could you be done for this in the UK? http://bit.ly/rgZ1dK

Germans are being cremated in Holland – cheaper + more respectful. Great piece here: http://bit.ly/pomDrH

Deer wake up and smell the roses at Salisbury crem –http://bit.ly/nTh0Tj

Graphic pics of drug wars on the Mexico-US border –http://bit.ly/p3GKO9

‘The scraped were condemned to topical infirmary with non-life threatening injuries’ – http://bit.ly/oc2YiS

What use funerals when people say things like “The loss is incalculable. It will not kick in until after the funeral”?http://bit.ly/pCKHR9

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling 

Corpse makeup the next big thing, say fashionistas. http://bit.ly/nKg1FL

C of E dead set on raising minister fee to £150. Great news for secular celebrants – http://reut.rs/n1ziPK

The priciest funeral homes in Vermont are owned by… SCI, surprise surprise. These corps are so crap – http://bit.ly/puahxc

Natural burial ground ran out of money, dammit! http://bit.ly/q1c9MbWill sustainability issues soon haunt others?

Spice up your sex life: do it in a funeral home – http://bit.ly/nOygTU

Celebration of life planned for dead elm – http://bit.ly/qdyYN1

Bristol council publishes zombie attack contingency plan –http://bit.ly/iw3EAL

You’ve got to feel sorry for these people. 1st the vile Co-op buys their crem, now it wants to close down their post office http://bit.ly/rdk48J

More on bespoke deathwear which co-decomposes –http://ind.pn/od4Bzc

Boomers, a stuffed bear and the hyper-personalised funeral –http://bit.ly/nann4A

Oh dear, the C of E has thrown out the proposed fee increase for funerals – http://tgr.ph/rlxsLB

Taiwan funeral strippers, lower gods and the heat and noise factor –http://on.io9.com/qNyC5l

Gladd bag suicide kit

By Charles Cowling

They done her in. So claims the director of the new Diana movie – http://ind.pn/ifoEFe

All the Goth death stuff you could probably ever want – http://bit.ly/9Xp6YI

Will the Tories flunk doing the right thing to fix the growing old age care crisis? It seems so – http://bit.ly/jLfgVr

Israelis bulldoze Muslim cemetery at night in order to build Museum of Tolerance – http://bit.ly/j7I1yn

With the example of sociopath US commercial operators in healthcare, why would the UK feel it needs the bastards? http://nyti.ms/lSVh4C

“One less dog!” Muslim kids abuse European funerals in Holland – http://youtu.be/EJQTvyHKpJI

Tales of empire: Job Charnock married a 15 y/o Hindu rescued from the pyre of her husband, about to commit sati. http://bit.ly/mkLGfA

Longevity is the elephant in the room. We live in denialist times – http://bit.ly/lakaH0

DeathwDignity Death with Dignity RT by GoodFunerals
Laws Should Reflect Diversity of Opinions. A new post on our blog: http://ht.ly/5rxJt #DeathwithDignity #eol #hpm

Catholic church says no to gay man’s funeral. God is glorified? http://bit.ly/lwdOcv

It’s not just people who die – http://bit.ly/lsxbkA

The sentimentalisation of death and recreational grieving. An unsentimental view of death by someone with cancer http://bit.ly/iNlp7K

‘Terrifyingly fascinating.’ The wax funeral effigy of Sarah Hare – http://bit.ly/mSJRId

Epitaph for an atheist found yesterday in an English churchyard (how English!): ‘I was not; I have been; I am not; I do not mind.’

Headstone unsafe after 11 years. How dare ‘stonemasons’ steal this honourable title? http://bit.ly/irjahK

matthiasrascher Matthias Rascher RT by GoodFunerals
Ancient graves suggest that family didn’t really matter 9,000 years ago. http://on.io9.com/l8v03E #archaeology #history

Palliative care discussion on today’s Today prog. Catch it on Listen Again – http://bbc.in/mqqXwM

Internet suicide kits and a nice dilemma for the sanctity-of-lifers – http://bit.ly/mmwU50

Do catch Sarah Murray, author of just-published Making an Exit, talking to Sandi on R4 Excess Baggage Listen Again: http://bbc.in/kOWSXw

PippaMW Pippa Wilcox RT by GoodFunerals
Lovely mention for #homedeath in the Guardian guardian.co.uk/culture. We’re told that it’s selling fast so do book – finboroughtheatre.co.uk/productions

An egregious example of the corruption at the heart of the US funeral industry. Can you read between the lines? – http://bit.ly/lqevIb

An idiot writes to ask me what I think of his new venture: http://youtu.be/St5GiFmZoEQ

And now there’s the Eternal Bed casket, a ‘compassionate alternative’. Love it! http://bit.ly/mf4BRe @TheEternalBed

Vicar defrocked after being caught trousering funeral fees, naughty boy – http://bit.ly/kcjujP

Sussex hospitals doing public health funerals for an ave of just £700 each. How?? – http://bit.ly/jRkKlD

Latest in crematorium design, one in the shape of a foetus –http://bit.ly/jZNxyQ

MakingAnExit Sarah Murray RT by GoodFunerals Remarkable pictures of a Tibetan sky burial: bit.ly/lll4hP

Impasse between FD and DWP, so the funeral couldn’t go ahead. Who’s the villain here? http://bit.ly/jnbYCO

“When the crem curtains closed, all that remained was a pair of thongs.” – http://bit.ly/iFXvtb

“Even departed ones born during Stone Age would surely love this insanely crazy idea” : http://bit.ly/miHmG1

Levertons always have a coffin ready for a royal –http://bit.ly/mBmkei

SCI workers on strike against the vile beast which begat Dignity (and Alderwoods) in the UK. Hate those corps. http://prn.to/mkhSwR

22 priests and a funeral — a modest one. Incomparable reporting by the Irish Times of the Lenihan sendoff – http://bit.ly/mGT85g

markzbarabak Mark Z. Barabak RT by GoodFunerals

Pingpong as a cure for #Alzheimers? Seriously. lat.ms/lBbep2

Scattering ashes from a model plane – http://bit.ly/kXwewl

Paul Sinclair’s inimitable take on the NFE –http://youtu.be/SKut9r77uZ8

Corpses plundered for bodyparts. Are there no depths to depravity?http://bit.ly/mtHBxW

Do do form an orderly stampede for Sarah Murray’s new book, it’s almost certainly brilliant – http://amzn.to/jVmckM

Starbucks opens up in a funeral home. Such a good idea.http://bit.ly/ir8HUa

Death porn – http://bit.ly/miPH7H & http://bit.ly/miStnw Long live the Daily Mail. Pass me the news, someone.

Dead husband reincarnated as a giraffe – http://bit.ly/mkbcg6

Spellbinding photos here (for you juicers) and an interesting story –http://bit.ly/mUBH1A

Danny Alexander says we’re living longer than ever. Correction, Mr A, we’re taking longer than ever to die. Big, big difference, old sport.

suebrayne Sue Brayne RT by GoodFunerals

via @TheOnion – God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorderonion.com/94uCri

celebratelives Richard Honeysett RT by GoodFunerals

Identified – the boy in the cast iron coffin http://tinyurl.com/5rsywo9

Here’s a roundup of recent tweets. I was dressed down the other day for publishing too many all at once. It’s a good point. In future I shall post fewer oftener.

Falling murder rate hits gangsta funeral home – http://bit.ly/izyK2S

I see greenfuse have a new website. Something of a standard setter, I’d say – http://bit.ly/kY4HBd

Grief denied is grief delayed? Good piece here on direct cremation and emotional aftermaths – http://bit.ly/k65FnH

New natural burial ground, just opened –http://www.willowsnaturalburialgrounds.co.uk/

How would you like to approach natural burial with young people? Dr Hannah Rumble wants to know. It’s a good question –http://bit.ly/kOgNH1

Agree w/Kevorkian’s understanding of the magnitude of the problem but disagree w/his solution. New post on our blog: http://ht.ly/59S14

Shocking indictment of the L’pool Care Pathway – and I had thought it was all so good http://bit.ly/iGeOga

‘Rest in peace you wooley bastard.’ Massive outpouring of grief in NZ for dead sheep – http://on.fb.me/jD0rxl

Woman smitten in flagrante by outraged tombstone –http://tinyurl.com/6ax8k9p

Note to hacks: don’t seek quotes from undertakers about falling death rate, they’ll tell professional lies – http://bit.ly/jp7D3u

Voice of Daleks buried in a cardboard coffin – http://bit.ly/iKUaNX

Temple of Grief – there’s a good new name for a crem. Sanctuary of Sorrow? Basilica of Bereavement… Got me thinking –http://bit.ly/kkovAA

Very interesting piece in the NYT on doctors’ duty to eol counselling and not deserting their patients – http://nyti.ms/j5SxgJ

Honouring the moment of death – and getting the bag for belongings right. Brilliant piece, this, from Ireland – http://bit.ly/jge1Mx

Involving the family in the funeral. A laudably enlightened undertaker writes – http://bit.ly/lzaPlJ

A funeral in a garden. Perfect and wonderful – http://bit.ly/lEW7EH

“Their greatest gift was teaching us how to live and how to die.” Funeral for body donors. http://bit.ly/jnIZf5

“We cannot have a situation whereby people strip naked at funerals.” http://bit.ly/k7TXyD

It’s been a while since I posted a roundup of news stories. Here’s a bunch. I can’t claim to have got them all; it’s a laborious business collecting them. They were all first posted on Twitter. I feel guilty about that. Twitter is a social networking site and I just use it as a filing system. Not cricket. Ach, wotthehell, archy, wotthehell.

Man journeying through eternity with a woman who is not his wife –http://bit.ly/i8mfBr

Father of Britain’s longest unburied body dies – http://bbc.in/i2r9Th

‘In his memory, go and get that medical test you’ve been avoiding.’ Always the best obits here: http://bit.ly/fGVXFl

RIP Poly Styrene – http://youtu.be/2sl-7RSiRXE

Thirteen-year-old boy sets fire to his granddad – http://bit.ly/gNyhno

What would you taste like to a cannibal? Ever wondered? Find out here – http://bit.ly/alQW

“Davis said God was looking out for his family when a huge oak tree fell on their house.” Mysterious ways. http://bit.ly/jRmSRi

Mumbai scheme to stop dogs running off with the bones of cremated bodies – http://bit.ly/lBdZtj

Pub to hold funeral for hail-fellow-well-met cat – http://bit.ly/j58Bxy

The husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor wants to have her plastinated when she’s dead – http://bit.ly/j3Rh4U

Burial Lessons: From Che to bin Laden. http://nyr.kr/mGgNN2

Dead rebels with a cause and post-mortem ignominy strategies –http://bbc.in/lGRWOD

RIP Major General Barry Nuttall, scourge of the bureaucrats. What a great guy – http://bit.ly/k8jATS

101 ways to euphemise ‘died’ – http://bit.ly/liuCAg

‘If god wanted us to believe in him he’d exist.’ Linda Smith.

New coffin manufacturer on the block. Anyone know anything about Steve Soult Ltd? http://bit.ly/jdygIO

Teen shoots self during funeral for shooting victim –http://bit.ly/mSGL8x

The DVD funeral tribute turned out to be a child porn slideshow. Ouch. http://bit.ly/kCsyiy

No bricks and mortar funeral homes – the shape of things to come in the UK? http://bit.ly/mvfYFH

Undertaker leaps from a moving aeroplane! http://bit.ly/mq9aHA

Sign of the times: the corpse was identified by the serial numbers of the breast implants – http://bit.ly/k7lNaK

Co-op trying to drive ethical retailer out of business. It’s time to expose this nasty pointless org – http://bit.ly/j3uYrV

OMG and all that, they’re serious about disturbing the dead and reusing their graves!! Good thing and high time –http://bbc.in/lGYKZW

There’s nowt so crap as a crem. This one wouldn’t wait for the dead woman’s brother – http://bit.ly/igiVDk

They killed the dog so that it could be buried with its mistress –http://bit.ly/kOFTSm

No more church funerals for Naples mafiosi. Oh my godfathers!http://bit.ly/lh9sXX

Does anyone know anything about these people? Are they dodgy?http://bit.ly/mpwAwu

Maggoty corpses left outside at US crematory. The price of free enterprise? http://bit.ly/kWPNnw

Gunther von Hagens will pay you £61,000 for your dead body –http://bit.ly/kkga0Y

Dr Hannah Rumble’s PhD thesis on natural burial now available for download. Hugely recommended – http://bit.ly/itaFXA

Here’s a hideous insight into UK undertaking. Cigar for the 1st person to define a ‘caterfelt’ – http://bit.ly/kaWk3f

Anniversary bash celebrates selling out to Fairways. Wailing and gnashing of teeth would have been more in order – http://bit.ly/lfcpsZ

Replica celebrity coffins. Whose is for you? http://bit.ly/jDZZVs

Exit has updated its living will. Pricey at 30 quid but quite possibly worth it? http://bit.ly/ii5F8E

Reporting funerals back in the day – http://bit.ly/joV9cT

“Do you swear on a stack of bibles that this dongle will definitely receive a strong, clear, unwavering signal on the Isle of Portland?” You wait for that look that young persons give us folk of uncertain age and temper, a blend of impatience, indulgence and pity. Then he says “Yes, oh yes, definitely” and nods very affirmatively and takes my money. And it’s all nonsense, of course. The Isle of Portland is no place for Vodafone.

So I’ve not managed to collect a great many stories in the last week. Here’s what I garnered:

Drive-thru funeral home popular for gang funerals. The corpse is behind bullet-proof glass http://www.autoguide.com/auto-news/2011/04/drive-thru-funeral-home-lets-you-pay-your-respects-on-the-go.html

Damned Co-op, damned Tories and the damnable sale of Bretby Crematorium – http://bit.ly/fGEICC

Corpse flower blooms in Basel. Hat tip to Norfolk Boi – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13179745

Upcoming courses by Archa Robinson “For anyone facing death in the next 90 years.” http://www.livinganddying.co.uk/flyer.htm

BBC films man dying. Storm expected. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/apr/26/bbc-films-cancer-patient-death?&CMP=EMCSOCEML657

Wrong grave dug. Co-op blames the cemetery, the cemetery blames the Co-op. http://www.eastlothiancourier.com/news/tranent/articles/2011/04/21/412547-burial-blunder-upsets-family/

Very sorry to see that Grete Waitz, the great Norwegian marathon runner, has died http://www.newsinenglish.no/2011/04/21/state-funeral-for-grete-waitz/

18 year-old opens funeral home in Staffs. Her other job? Bodyguard. Honest! http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2011/04/21/teenager-opens-funeral-parlour-in-norton-canes/

So wife burning still goes on in some parts of India, it seems http://www.deccanchronicle.com/editorial/dc-comment/sc-%E2%80%98khap%E2%80%99-directive-officials-welcome-848

Very interesting-looking blog here written by a bright and thoughtful FD http://daletime.com/

Funeral home embraces opportunity to stop people dying. Self-restraint of trade? http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2011/04/18/it-s-a-funeral-home-which-saves-lives-91466-28536974/

Blimey, Midlands Co-op charges £605 for a cardboard coffin! But what do you reckon to the balance of this piece? http://www.sundaymercury.net/news/midlands-news/2011/04/17/huge-mark-up-on-price-of-cardboard-coffins-mean-funeral-homes-cash-in-on-death-66331-28533378/

Royal wedding route will be the same as that to be taken by Queen’s cortege – http://bit.ly/ie1Xtf

Interesting that political campaigning should be reckoned disrespectful of a dead politico – http://bbc.in/gp8KCX

Man dies at best friend’s funeral – http://bit.ly/fKDMxb

RT @beachwordsmith: Sia Furler and Six Feet Underhttp://bit.ly/eZcaLs Such a great song!

Judicious juxtaposition. Hat tip @StNeotsFuneralshttp://fb.me/Tzkt4nbs

The Funeral Director (2009). Maddest movie of all time?http://fb.me/FQOvRUbp

The excellent Mr D Cuttlefish on what atheists believe (and don’t) –http://bit.ly/g6560F

Man hanged for murder gets Christian burial – http://bit.ly/ihzEp9

RT @DenOfGeek The growing problem with death in science fiction movies and TV shows – Den of Geek http://bit.ly/eUaDcj

How can any crematory be so incredibly incompetent?http://bit.ly/e0YRHE

Grievers bang to rights for out of order parking up at t’crem –http://bit.ly/eker1D

Scan those prints for the family archive + a BEAUTIFUL photo –http://bit.ly/fs1H7E

Is that nice Mr Mugabe on his last legs? http://bit.ly/flqQx3

Not Dead (Alive) Beard-o-Bees Remix – ‘a cerebral celebration of life’. Not of mine, ta – http://bit.ly/hadl6q

ShineOnBrightly shineonbrightly by GoodFunerals

At Ghanaian Funerals, a Time to Dance and Celebrate –http://nyti.ms/eTGMd9

beachwordsmith Brian Jenner by GoodFunerals

I May Very Well Vomit…The Snoopy Dance…Responses From Fans | Six Feet Under Conventionsixfeetunderconvention.co.uk/2011/04/i-may-… New blog

Country star’s father won’t die – http://aol.it/hSJFH4

Clock stopped never to go again when the old man died –http://bit.ly/flWAkB

Good website and very promising new death blog from UK academic – innovation and spirituality. Worth following –http://bit.ly/g7886G

New disposal technologies a reinvention of the wheel? Natural burial all we need, thanks? Comment here: http://bit.ly/fojbaw@NaturalBurials

New nbg in Lincs. 20 years in the planning. Twenty years??!http://bit.ly/ey2LjQ

Daily Mail bashes travellers with grievers. Are there no depths to its malign ingenuity? http://bit.ly/etsKN5

Co-op Funeralcare wants us to Like them on Facebook. Just one person does when I looked. Where’s the love?????http://on.fb.me/f4TntE

ECRI_Institute ECRI Institute by GoodFunerals

Great blog conversation on #ptsafety blog post “The Messy Business of Dying” http://bit.ly/gfw3Pl National Healthcare Decisions Day @NHDD

suebrayne Sue Brayne by GoodFunerals

Wonderful R4 Bk of Week Marie de Hennezel’s Warmth of Heart prevents Body rusting. Available on podcast http://bbc.in/Z9yMk

OK, so who do you think cocked up, the Co-op or the florist? –http://bit.ly/hmawgd

Hereford mortuary to charge undertakers £50 a day to store bodies. Sign of the times? http://bit.ly/heFg2x

New consumer resource to guide grievers in choosing the right services and the right funeral home – http://bit.ly/fsnDkL

MuchLovedUK MuchLoved RT by GoodFunerals
Download @MuchLoved‘s facebook app and add your tribute. Every time someone comments/contributes or makes a…http://fb.me/DyrepjgV

DeathRef Death Reference Desk RT by GoodFunerals
Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die. “You want to talk about where…http://fb.me/V1mQWbPO

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Go on, Like Mortlake crematorium on fb. Let it feel your love.http://on.fb.me/ezHzNO

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Fascinating case of assisted suicide – http://bit.ly/gCIrWL

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
First world war Naval deaths go online. Guardian article –http://bit.ly/hvbbOS

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Funeral potatoes recipe: http://bit.ly/iciTwj Funeral food, great song by Kate Campbell – http://bit.ly/hm2ylb

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Emmerdale is going to do an assisted suicide. Good writing.http://bit.ly/gNiINb

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Last ditch fight to save Bretby crem from the damned Co-operative –http://bit.ly/fzCMpY

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Gay stone age man dug up in Czech Republic – http://bit.ly/fuDbxz

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Gay cave man story bollocks, it seems. Too good to be true –http://bit.ly/g22aJy

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Statistically, 0% of people die of old age in the UK — however old they are.

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Try out a coffin at Le Salon de la Mort. Photo essay –http://bit.ly/hN2MjJ

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Erykah Badu performs her new song Fall in Love (Your Funeral) – live studio performance : http://bit.ly/hyBIxb

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Iconoclastic boomers and online funeral planning –http://bit.ly/fbH7m5

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Edward Stobart funeral report – http://bit.ly/i19rdI

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Lemmings. http://bit.ly/i8RZ9t

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
‘In the history of the Troubles, funerals have spawned more funerals – occasions for reinforcing tribal solidarity.’ http://bit.ly/e0rTIe

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
What happens if the burial ground is frozen? http://bit.ly/e8Umqx

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Ripping off the dead. Some Chinese cemetery owners are billionaires – http://bit.ly/gDk3TZ

GoodFunerals Charles Cowling
Would Jesus believe in evolution? http://bit.ly/fLfmtX