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From yesterday’s Independent:

The Church of England is asking its followers to give feedback on funerals and christenings in a drive to make services more popular.

A MUSIC-loving funeral director could soon be playing a key role in a national songwriting competition.

Distinguished figures like Sir Terry Wogan, ‘Whispering’ Bob Harris and Johnnie Walker may be casting a critical ear over a song penned for charity by Neil Brunton – if he can secure enough online votes.

Neil’s song, ‘Jacob Street’, is among 50 which struck a chord with Oldie Composers – “a UK-wide songwriting competition, open to the older generation, to showcase their talent and raise money for Barnardo’s”.

‘Jacob Street’ was loosely inspired by an episode at Kirkcaldy bus station, where he saw a man and a woman busking.

A couple of years later, Neil saw the man there again but the woman had gone.

“I started wondering what became of her,” he explained.

“Had she gone on to bigger and better things, while he was left at Kirkcaldy bus station?”

The 50 melodies are all up for public vote and the 20 which gather the most hits by January 7 will be judged by a panel of Radio 2 personalities.

After that, the leading cheap cialis online canada four will be recorded in London by professional musicians and released on i-Tunes to benefit the charity.

Here at the GFG-Batesville Tower the toiling cadres have been listening to Neil’s song and offering their opinions, for what little they’re worth. They like its air of elegiac melancholy, reinforced by repetitive cadences. Said one, “Just the job for two o’clock in the morning after your relationship has broken down and you’ve drunk too much whisky.” Most agreed they like it very much indeed.

Other songs in the final 50 are Eyes Wide Open, Heaven’s Not So Far Away, Cry, House of Tears, Getting Away, Losing the Light and Heartbreak. It is our belief that these songs were not composed by undertakers. 

Vote for Neil now. There’s no more to it than a click. Hear his song first. Here.

Read the entire article in Fife Today here. 

Meet Nigel ‘The Undertaker’ Heydon, master-dartist, the one the big boys dread meeting in the first round. Why ‘Undertaker’? Because when he’s not at the oche he’s, yes,  out burying the dead. He was formerly known as ‘The Butcher’ because before he became an undertaker he was, you guessed it, a butcher. Clearly it would not have been appropriate for him to have carried this epithet forward into his new profession. 

Which other undertakers, we wonder, have achieved eminence in sport? Do let us know if you can think of any. 

Last Thursday Nigel was at it on the telly, almost causing one of his upsets:

Defending champion Adrian Lewis was given a huge scare before beating world number 46 Nigel Heydon 3-2 in the first round of the PDC World Championship.

Heydon played some superb darts to lead 2-0 in the best-of-five-sets match.

The second seed struggled to find his range but somehow got himself back into the game and scrambled to victory. [Source]

Crowds mourning the death of Kim Jong Il in North Korea this morning. According to the Korean Central News Agency:

People from all walks of life are visiting statues of President Kim Il Sung in different parts of Pyongyang including Kim Il Sung University to express their greatest sorrow over the demise of Kim Jong Il, the father of the nation.

Tears are streaming down the cheeks of the grief-stricken people. “We can never believe that leader Kim Jong Il passed away as even shortly ago he conducted energetic activities day and night for prosperity and development of the country and the happier life of the people.

“Have we ever thought of the country without Kim Jong Il, the Korean revolution without his leadership and our life without his loving care.”

At this moment of greatest sorrow and grief, people feel as if the sky were falling down. The hearts of all of them are now filled with stronger faith in victory, optimism and solemn pledge.

“I was just thinking about my funeral and stuff a couple days ago and thinking who would be at the funeral. People who I want to be in the funeral? I wanna have world leaders that were, like, affected, that said, you know, ‘Kanye gave me my shot here.’”

Kanye West

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Dear Abby: “Saddened in New Jersey” (Oct. 2) complained that her sister’s 4-year-old daughter put stickers on the hands and face of her deceased grandmother during her wake.

Find out what Abby said next here. 

“But our machines have now been running 70 or 80 years, and we must expect that, worn as they are, here a pivot, there a wheel, now a pinion, next a spring, will be giving way; and however we may tinker them up for a while, all will at length surcease motion.”

Thomas Jefferson, 1814

How’s it going with the Christmas shopping? Look, with time running out, it’s time to get going.

Here at the GFG-Batesville Tower we like to support our own — the people who share our values. There are precious few of these in the high street for, verily, they are a precious few. 

One of the precious few is Yuli Somme of Bellacouche. She is a felt maker, originator of the wonderful LeafShroud and Leafcocoon, burial shrouds for adults and chidren respectively. In addition to being an incredibly nice person she also signs up to values that most of us can only aspire to – wistfully. She is committed to: support local wool producers and pay a fair price; source organically whenever practical and possible; use rare breed fleece when practical; compost all waste after recycling options have been achieved; use local buy tadalafil 270 online processors and related businesses to limit wool miles; offer commitment and integrity towards customers; enjoy my work. 

Yuli makes a range of felt products, all of which would make really good Christmas presents. Here are some:

Decorative mobile. Fits into a greetings card. £5.50

Woolsack Minikit. All you need to make this felt necklace. £8.00

Felt insoles. Great for walkers – and snowbound undertakers. £6.00 pr, 3 for £15.00

Oven gloves with a choice of motifs. £25.00

Tea cosy, chicken or dog. £45.00

Tuffet. ‘Three layers of lovely thick felt form a cushioning and insulating mat between you and a hard chair, damp grass, or other place you choose to sit.’ £30.00

Order online direct from Yuli. Pay by PayPal. Couldn’t be easier. Astound your friends and loved ones with your good taste and originality. Find Yuli’s website here. 

All photographs copyright Yuli Somme. 

“I started taking better care of myself once I learned how expensive funerals are.”

Source

The Revd Paul Sinclair, proprietor of Motorcycle Funerals, occupies, in the unanimous opinion of all who toil round the clock here at the GFG-Batesville Tower, the status of national treasure. He’s a thoroughly good egg, a lovely man.

At weekends, when crem chimneys grow cold, Paul and his wife Marian like to travel the country preaching the gospel. Paul had his own church back in the day, in Willesden, a part of London through which Olympic VIPs are unlikely to be conveyed. He was extremely successful in building the congregation and securing the fabric of his church. He also achieved local fame for the posters he displayed order cialis professional outside his church. This is our favourite:

You can buy a copy of Paul’s book, Now Open Sundays, a selection of his best posters plus lots of good stories, here.

But you’re dying to hear him preach. Here he is. You’ll enjoy his storytelling skills, his humour and his reflections on the funeral trade. “Wouldn’t you just love this, when it comes to your funeral, if we didn’t have to tell lies about you?” “Have you ever been to a funeral and thought you went to the wrong one?”

Listen away…

The Reputation Trap by Paul and Marian Sinclair