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That’s a good point, and over here, is it at least in part because FDs don’t usually ask the bereaved family about what they want the funeral to do for them, what their beliefs are about it all, etc etc ? All the stuff celebrants often (I hope?) discuss – but by then it’s usually too late.
If FDs plunge straight into burial or cremation, vicar or celebrant, coffins, cars etc, they aren’t talking about the funeral ceremony, its potential powers and functions – about which, naturally, many people have few thoughts. So the talk is about the price range, and about things, not feelings, beliefs, attitudes. The stuff we have to get right if the funeral is going to do its job!
I saw a family today who want to place flowers on the coffin. As I began to explain the different points during the ceremony when they could choose to do this, I was stopped. They were going to do it just before the committal but the funeral arranger told them they would have to do it as they were leaving so that I (the celebrant) wouldn’t be ‘interrupted’.
Unfortunately Belinda, this is just the kind of rubbish too many funeral arrangers spout.
Almost daily I tell my staff not to ‘make it up as you go along’ but, if in doubt, ASK! What on earth would make someone say such a thing? This is sloppy arranging – possibly rushed arranging, coupled with inexperience?
None of us are perfect, but this kind of invention of rigid inflexible procedure is daft.