Some of last week’s stories
“Do you swear on a stack of bibles that this dongle will definitely receive a strong, clear, unwavering signal on the Isle of Portland?” You wait for that look that young persons give us folk of uncertain age and temper, a blend of impatience, indulgence and pity. Then he says “Yes, oh yes, definitely” and nods very […]
Meeting his Macca
Following the story of the tea-drinking, cake-eating undertakers which caused such ire a few days ago (read it here), here’s a US undertaker up to much of the same , if in a far more downmarket way. Story here.
What are you worth dead?
The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth.Created by OnePlusYou – Free Online Dating If your curiosity is in idle mode, this being holiday time, you may be wondering what your dead body’s worth to those who would like to recycle its bits and pieces. Make your way over to the […]
Damned lies
Here’s a curious case of what looks to me like damnable stupidity whose aftermath is irreparable emotional damage. I can think of no reason for the undertaker in the following case to have behaved as he did – to have forged signatures on an application for cremation. I’d be interested to know what other funeral […]
Blog off!
This blog is rolling up its trousers, fashioning a newspaper hat and taking itself off to the seaside for a week. I shall try to do emails and stuff but I’ll be on a dongle and it’s a painfully slow connection on the island of dreams — they don’t want our chatter to interfere with […]
The week in shorts
Royal wedding route will be the same as that to be taken by Queen’s cortege – http://bit.ly/ie1Xtf Interesting that political campaigning should be reckoned disrespectful of a dead politico – http://bbc.in/gp8KCX Man dies at best friend’s funeral – http://bit.ly/fKDMxb RT @beachwordsmith: Sia Furler and Six Feet Underhttp://bit.ly/eZcaLs Such a great song! Judicious juxtaposition. Hat […]
Counting the takings
The Co-operative Funeralcare’s trading profit last year (2010) was £46,000,000, achieved from 100,333 funerals. They performed 4000 more funerals than in 2009, and profits are up £7.7 million. £9.5m was invested in vehicles and £11.1m in funeral homes. Bond sales were up 29 per cent on 2009. Funeral Excellence Scores, calculated from the consumer survey […]
Picking up the patriarch’s ashes
James Showers, sole proprietor of the Family Tree Funeral Company, undertaker to the discerning decendents of Gloucestershire, has been badgering me to rediscover something he lost on his computer. He thought it might be on mine, since I once sent it to him. It’s not. But by dint of indefatigable googling I have unearthed it. […]
Storm in a teacup
You may have seen the story in the papers. Briefly, a Salisbury undertaker (1 hearse, 1 other vehicle, a Rover estate) arrives at his funeral venue in Tamworth, 150 miles away, and looks about for somewhere for his staff and himself to take a break. He tries the church. Locked. He tries the cemetery. No […]
It got made!
Movie synopsis: The Funeral Director (2009) So far as I can find out, it never got distributed. “A broken-hearted man, Kevin, finds company in a pet cricket. After ditching a lucrative advertising job, he signs on as an apprentice in a funeral home and finds himself not only working for a sexually starved pre-menopausal funeral […]
