Uber undertakers 1: Carl Marlow
The first time I spoke on the phone to Carl Marlow his voice was drenched with adrenaline. He’d just got back from cremating a Hindu on an open-air pyre. He got away with it. Just. It’s against the law. That’s the way Carl is. The first time I saw him, at his […]
Bring on the empty hearses
What effect does the sight of a hearse have on you? Does it make your spirit soar? Does it put a spring in your step and a song on your lips? Or does it throw a Hammer Horror chill around your heart? What would be the effect on you of the spectacle […]
FuneralCare shame
When I blogged about FuneralCare derecognising the GMB union I invited the press officer at FCare to respond in the interests of fairness and right to reply. Phil Edwards of FCare duly responded by email: “This deserves a reply. How much time do we have?” I told him to take his time. But this was […]
Death porn
Here’s an interesting and not unconfusing series of pics from today’s Guardian. Entitled ‘Behind the Last Closed Door’, the photos are by Laura Peters and are on show at the Lighthouse Gallery, Wolverhampton, from 3-18 September. ‘What,’ asks the Guardian, ‘happens behind the scenes at crematorium [sic]? A new exhibition of photographs solves the mystery.’ […]
Marking the spot
Do not stand at my grave and weep;I am not there…Here’s an instruction more honoured in the breach than the observance. These, the opening lines of one of Britain’s favourite funeral poems, highlight the contradiction inherent in our complex psychological need to mark the spot where the body or ash of a loved one is […]
The bargain bites back
It took just a couple of playful chomps for the bull terrier to sever the puppy’s retractable lead, rendering it a total loss. Fruitless to pelt him with acrimony: when a bull terrier does a bad thing the accompanying expression of comical delinquency disarms all rage. Expensive things, these retractable leads. Sharon found a replacement […]
Scowl
Ethical is the new virtuous. Saints don’t wear haloes any more, they wear little whirling propellers on their roofs to, I don’t know, charge their iPhones, is it? Ethical living used to be about more than remembering to bring your bag for life to the supermarket or taking as much pride in your compost bin […]
Being there
Life teems with ticklish antitheses. In the midst of life we are in death: in the midst of death we are in life. It’s a summer’s day which feels like late November. Rain is spitting; the leaves on the chestnut trees are browning. The funeral is over (I was the celebrant) and I pause to […]
The only good un’s a cheap un
An entertaining way of assessing trends in the UK funeral industry is to have a look at what’s going on in the US. The best way I’ve found of doing that is by following Tim Totten’s blog, Final Embrace. It lends perspective to the view. And Tim is sharp, with an engaging quality of bright-eyed […]
No hiding place
It’s a ticklish business, if you’ve never done it before, launching a website. Launch? That’s a big verb. It’s not what it felt like: no tarantara, no wild whooping, no champagne-dripping prow. Nothing like that at all. Simply, Harry, my webmeister, emailed late one uneventful evening. “You’re live,” he said. I inhaled a deep breath […]
